hey baby, ngorat boleh?

assalamualaikum peliks!

truth be told, it has been a while since i've been personal with my blog.
been doing reviews a lot..

and truth be told, i am pregnant!

say say say whaaaaaaat??

oui! alhamdulillah i am pregnant!

dah a few months dah actually =p

it was a very... challenging first trimester.

hmmm nak story ke tak. 

...................................

story la sikit. 

ehem.

ok so i imagine the experience back from a third persons' view and it looks funny but the experience on me, it was soooooooooo harrrrdddd!!!

1. i had to eat all the time. i must have biscuits with me at all times. hunger will cause me to vomit.

2. i couldn't read. reading made me dizzy. dizziness made me vomit.

3. i couldn't stay vertical for more than a few minutes. sitting or standing for too long made me vomit.

4. i could only eat seciput nasi and 1 jenis lauk. watching others eat made me wanna vomit. having too much on my plate made me wanna vomit. eating too much made me vomit.

5. i couldn't drive. driving made me dizzy. refer to no. 2.

6. i have to be in a quiet place. noise made me dizzy. refer to no. 2.

oh the list goes on.

so as you can imagine, i was bed bound for the longest time, for the first time!

i ni dah la memang jenis takleh duduk diam. i was a workaholic.

i jenis yang memang kena buat something. free time means opportunity-looking time.

oh ya. i'm not working anymore as an engineer. i'm working on a project which i hope will be successful when it's done. in sha Allah.

and i'm still studying heee.. tak sabar nak habis!!! aaahhhhhh!!!

ok back to being bed bound.

i had accepted to do some product reviews (before i knew i was pregnant) kan... tapi body tak larat... i pernah sakit hati sangat sebab my body tak boleh nak cooperate with me, sampai i nanes nanes..

i told my hubby about it of course, and he was being very supportive cakap i can do it, and i have to do it sebab rezeki, blablabla, pastu i marah dia lak.

hahaahahahahahahaha!

i cakap "u cakap macam senang je! cuba you pregnant!"

emo gila =p

biasa la orang pregnant kan. hormone and feelings macam gila sket. off-tune.

yang kelakar nya, i can get easily emotional by songs.

i heard lagu Yuna - Lelaki.

kan dia nya chorus, it goes "lelaki tak guuuuuuuuuuuuuuna, etc etc"

i loved the song, but the song made me so emotional, bukan setakat emo je, tapi nangis nangis and geram nya emo tuuhhh! sampai i muntah and pening pening, and every man yang i rasa tak guns sume goes through my mind and the 'tak puas hati' feeling tu stayed on sampai i lupa lagu tu ok!!!

sakit pale tul. even PRU made me sick!

and then, there's me being on my own with nothing to do. body and mind nak rest tapi jiwaku perlukan fresh air, perlukan jalan jalan, tapi apo nak buek.

i even had plans for my semester break. i wanted to go bungy jumping and skydiving, roller coaster riding, knee boarding, and more, tapi again. apo nak buek. tunggu baby keluar, and then i ajak dia buat skali with me. nyehehehehee =p

so being on my own was tougher than i thought. i was tired all the time.
but for the first time, i was able to rest all day!
i think for years, i have very seldom had real rest.
rest pun boleh online lagi. dulu la.

but this time, i was really resting. all my gadgets i letak tepi. (i hated my phone =p sebab it always rings. ada je keje kena buat. i ignored a lot.. huhu..)
and rasa best pulak. just chilling and talking to my baby. and just picturing of what i will do when the baby arrives.

there are times (present tense ya) when people remind me of things i wanted to do but couldn't (due to pregnancy opkos), it wasn't easy to.. accept? is that the word? ha camtu la.
it wasn't easy, but i know Allah is the best of Planners, and He planned this for me and my family.
there has to be a reason why He chose me to carry a child now kan =)

keredhaan & keikhlasan has been said to be the 2 hardest feelings to summon when we're not emotionally stable.

so apo nak buek? tunggu emosi stable la pastu panggil la itu perasaan! hehee!

i think for now cukup la i nak berkarang pasai pregnancy ni.
ponek pulak. heheee =p

hope you all can forgive me for my carelessness when i blog these days. i can't always jaga your hati, therefore, i ask for your cooperation to at least be tactful with mine =)
kalau request ni macam berat sebelah, alamak, sorry la ya!

to all experienced mothers, i'd love to hear your advices!! and you're so awesome! sebab now i know what it's like to be pregnant, and most of you have done so much better than me!
SALUTE!! RESPECT!!
may Allah reward you for your strength and patience! =D

ok la itu je =)

salam!

ps: thanks for reading this super long post! love you lillahi!

Girl Talk Part 4: The Nikah

assalamualaikum =)

last week on my 25th birthday, was the day i got married to mr asfirdaus =')
i can't believe it, and even after a week, it seems very surreal!

this year, many of my dear friends got married and my friends yang kahwin dah and yang belum all said the same thing about me.

"mesti you nangis masa nikah!!"

and i did!
hehee..

here's my nikah story =)

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

our nikah session was to be at 11am. so that day, after subuh prayers, i got myself ready.
mom dah ready kan breakfast for the whole family sebab we know masa nikah and after pun mesti susah nak makan.

masa tengok pelamin pagi tu, rasa excited sangat!
"ya Allah, this is really happening!" - i thought to myself sambil makan karipap.
pelamin dah la cun gila! my mom & chenta weddings came up with the theme! i never knew how it looked like until they finished it! punya la tak involved ngan ceremony sendiri. heheheee..
and after eating and mingling with my family, i went upstairs for makeup in my lil bro's room. sorry arief. haha! =p

my cousin, Nina Faressa, yang makeup kan. she did my engagement makeup too! she has really good soft hand skill (not many have this. banyak kali i rasa cam kena seksa bila di-makeup kan) and she knows the kind of makeup i like; not heavy and not too bright.

anyway, after makeup, i went straight to my mom's room to wear my dress, which was made by my cousin, Nina Natessa. Faressa and Tessa are sisters btw =)
i don't know much about designing so at the designing stage a few months ago, i just told my mom the kind of dress i want, and mom conveyed it to Tessa. coz to me, i just want simple and nice dress/baju kurung. shape, colour, length, blablabla, sume tu i leave it to mom and Tessa. i was working and studying kan, so i hadn't had time to think about the baju.
alhamdulillah, the dress was exquisite, made with such intricate beadings yet simple and lovely!

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

dress, tudung, veil by Nina Natessa

makeup by Nina Faressa

so after getting ready, we all sat and wait. well, not really. while waiting, i had to do a lot of poses for the cameramen. haha!! it's good anyway, i was already nervous. posing awkwardly to the camera distracted me from my jitters =)

and then... rombongan pengantin lelaki sudah tiba.

mom and i went down, and the moment when i reached the downstairs, i saw Asfirdaus, in white baju melayu and black songkok. we looked at each other for a while and then we looked away. that moment, all i could think of was "this is it". 

i whispered "bismillahirahmanirrahim" all the time while walking towards the pelamin.

annnndddd.. i was fighting back tears =)

photo by Project2Pi (via instagram)

*tengah tahan tears*

unfortunately, when i sat at the pelamin, i cried. couldn't contain it any longer!

but takde la teresak esakkkk! tak cute la kan. hahah!

i cried when i saw my dad.

i'm the only girl among his children, and he's letting me go to Asfirdaus.

i had so many mixed emotions then, but what really made me tearful was the thought of how i wished i could do more as a daughter. i wished then that i could give back to my Abah, who have struggled so hard and so much when my brothers and i were younger.. 

the night before the nikah, my dad came to my room. he hugged me and said "i'm going to miss you". as i was looking at him then, on the pelamin, i really really felt that i will miss him. a lot.

and then i looked at mom, who sat next to me.

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

mama, mama.. hehe! 

since ages ago, mama always said "i won't cry la. i'm not emotional." and always "mesti abah yang nangis!"

oh how wrong was she!!!

when i looked at mama as she wiped my tears, she cried!!

and then i took the tissue and wiped her tears!

and then tiba tiba dua dua gelak, sebab it was funny.

photo by Project2Pi (via instagram)

*tengah lap tears sambil gelak*

i cried looking at mama crying and she cried looking at me crying!

hehehee!

i just felt so much love for my parents at that time. i just want to pause everything and tell them how much i love them. just for five minutes at least. but i don't have such power. all i could do was smile (tearfully) and pray in my heart.

my parents have done so many for me, for my brothers, for their families. my mom planned everything herself, from nikah sampaiiiii reception.

i did only 1% of the whole thing, which was to be there.

=')

i think all this emotional rollercoaster was just about 2-3 minutes but it felt like ages.

and then, ustaz started the ceremony.

session power transfer, from my father to Asfirdaus began.

photo by Project2Pi (via instagram)

alhamdulillah, dengan satu kali lafaz, sah la kita sebagai suami & isteri =')

i was so proud of abah and asfirdaus. abah was so calm and steady, asfirdaus was confident. both were articulate =)

i cried again of course, because i was both relieved, happy, sad, and all bunch of emotions. that's being a girl! haha!!

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

ultimately, i was grateful to Allah SWT, for allowing all this to happen.

syukur alhamdulillah, i can't even give words to describe how grateful i am!

Allahu Akbar =')

akad nikah selesai in one brief moment, and when Asfirdaus, my husband, went to perform his sunat prayers, i just sat there, trying to digest what just happened. i tried to put back my thoughts together, coz it seems to be buzzing all around, and i just want to remember everything. =)

my hubby came back, we signed the documents, and alhamdulillah, selesai sudah! 

and then, it was salam salam session between me & Asfirdaus =)

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

i was so shy masa tu! nak pegang tangan dia rasa cam was-was je! 

i was like "eh dah boleh pegang, tapi nak pegang depan orang ke? eh eh eh?"

pastu dah pegang nak salam tu, macam "WAHH INI SERIOUS NI WEHHHH BOLEH PEGANG!!!"

hahaha! macam jakun!

pastu bila diorang suruh my hubby cium dahi, rasa malu gila yang teramat sangat!!

dia cium pun kat atas tudung, sebab i elak. hahahaha!

=p

we were all smiles that day!

i was so happy that i didn't even feel tired! wait, it's not that i did not feel it, i felt tired, but i was ok with it. sebab i had so much fun!

with all my closest friends and families, with my in-laws and families, and of course, with my husband, how can i not be happy? =')

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

*bersanding after nikah*

*can't help it. when someone says "FREESTYLE!" masa tangkap gambo, i can only make faces. =p*

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

*majlis ambo ambo*

*muka takleh blah please*

*ahak!*

and that was it in the morning =)

there're more majlis after that, but i'll take my time telling them.

just because =)

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

photo by Mukhriz Latif & Udey Ismail Photography

 my family ada extra one son! ahakk!

by the way, Project2Pi is with CST Breed. CST Breed is my official videographer, fyi =) so Project2Pi is this new service by CST Breed where they will upload the pictures ON THE SPOT via instagram, twitter, and facebook! so those yang cannot attend my wedding got updated with the whole event even without being there! i think it's such an awesome new service, and it's a good thing i took it =D 

and here's the video, by CST Breed, of our wedding =)

(and they made it so brilliantly that even i cried when watching!)

*i love you too mom =')*

alhamdulillah it was a beautiful day, blessings from Allah SWT.

everything went well and smoothly!

ohhhh.. i can't thank everyone enough!

may Allah SWT reward your kindness, your kind and lovely wishes, your prayers, your presence, everything! moga Allah swt membalas berganda ganda!!

love you all lillahi taala,

my families, my friends, those who read this.

=)

salam from Puan Maria 

ihik!

Girl Talk part 3 1/2

assalamualaikum!!

so a lot of people have been asking pasal TARIKH kahwin iolls and dato'olls.

it's actually very near. 

ihik!!!

=p

anyway!!

i am sooooo excited to share with you our teaser video!!

it was shot few weeks ago, it took about half-a-day (which was quite surprising. i thought it would've been longer) and it was fun!!

i asked long time ago about videographers kat twitter, and i surveyed a lot of videos.

many responded to my tweet to get CST Breed as my videographers.

and yeah, now officially, they will be documenting my nikah & bersanding sessions!!

weeeeeeeeeeee!!

ok ok. mesti takde orang nak baca anyway kan.

here's the teaser!!

*Click gambo please!*

and this is the Behind The Scenes!

The Awesome Duo

ahakk!! *Click gambo please!*

can't believe after a year waiting, the day is finally near!!!

weeeeeeee!!!

thank you CST Breed for the videos!!

CST Breeders are seriously fun and cool people to work with =D

and to my readers, friends, families,

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE DOAS!

we appreciate them all =')

may Allah swt reward your kindness!

ps: my cousin will be giving birth today in sha Allah!

on a beautiful date too!! 12/12/12.

and no, i'm not getting married today =)

have a good day everyone!

anywayyyyyyy...
HERE'S THE FULL VIDEO!!!!!

*screenshot muka lagi lagi menjengkelkan dari "taraa"*

THANK YOU CST BREED!!!!
THEY ROCK OUR SOCKS OFFFFFFF!!!!
weeeeeeeeee!!!!

zaman dulu dan zaman kini

because of my blog's unfortunate incident of losing all of it's (my) pictures, i actually took the liberty to re-upload some of them back. 

those yang on the sidebar la mainly. senang sikit ikut categories. 

anyhoots, i was looking through my old pics, and i reminisced those days when i was in university =)

in university, my girlfriends and i did loads of things together, and how i wish i could share the crazy fun things we've done in my blog, but we were younger those days.. and we didn't cover ourselves well. so all the memories are in our minds and only be revisited when we meet again, when we whatsapp each other about it, or when we look back at our old pictures..

and it's all good =')

and i had just as much good memories with my girlfriends as i had with him, my future husband =)

we met in our third year, and got on till today!

what interests me most now is how different he looks everytime!!

he's like a.. like a.. chameleon? tapi dia change ikut suka hati dia, bukan ikut background. hahaha!!

let the pics speak for themselves heheeee

2009

muka gangsta gila (dah la kurus..)

macam budak indie siot (sebab rambut panjang)! and that katana, still have it! =p

2010

masa our final year dia banyak main football. he was in the UTP league thingy, so skinny gila jadi. haha! CHECK OUT THE CHEEKBONES!!!

after grad, jalan jalan gi bukit tinggi. wahaha!! =p

he fits the japanese look so well!! crocs comel please.

2011

dah keje dah weolls =)

and he looked so manly masa ni.. i cair la u knozz! haha!

masa naik plane, and he was wearing my ranban shades that i won. coz it looked better on him, i pun bagi la kat dia =)

gaya yakuza betul la dia ni.. dah berisi sket masa ni.

beraya kat rumah kawan. we matching matching first time wannn! hehe!! masa ni kurus balik. aiseh.. 

eh eh? dah berisi balik?!!?

hahahaa!!

dah bertunang daaahhhhh =)

2012

he sent us of to Umrah earlier this year =') short hair dah. 

mata makin sepet. eh ye ke? tak tak tak.. eyebags je makin tebal akibat rajin bekerja =)

and this one, very recent. =)

all the time, short hair dah skang. no more long hair. and always wearing smart casual clothes. jarang gila tengok dia pakai shirt biasa and slippers.

he's changed physically a lot.

me?

i still look the same. hehe!

but we've changed a lot since we first went out together. characteristically, i mean.

he said, from the time he fell in love with me, he wanted to marry me.

me?

of course i wanted to marry him too.

and alhamdulillah,

we honoured our promise to each other (about being married to each other of course) and with Allah's permission, tak lama lagi dah kita akan di ijab qabul kan.

=)

so adik adik sekalian, kalau nak kahwin, jangan lah kerana gatal, nak tangkap gambo sweet sweet bagai.

nak kahwin kerana it's right di sisi agama demi Allah swt because once married, it's all about responsibilities.

may Allah swt tetapkan jodoh yang terbaik untuk anda semua =)

amiiinn~ 

*love*

i Bag you!!

assalamualaikum!

ok title macam drama + pun.. =p haha!
*ehem*

can you imagine this?

MARIA ELENA - BAG DESIGNER 

can you?

can youuuu?!

neither can i.. 

but it will happen!! maria elena, engineer + bag designer.. OVER GILA! hahaha!

Sometime had contacted me and they want me to be one of their designers! because, here's the cute bit, because they said they like my fashion sense! ahakk! (padahal i biasa sangat)

sometime is really awesome coz they get designers from all over ASIA to design exclusive bags at good prices!

kawaiiiii!!!

and I WILL BE ONE OF THEM DESIGNERS YAWWWWW!

i will be representing Malaysia along with John L and Aliana. wuuuaaahhh.. iolls sangat terharu..

but before i get everyone too excited (myself mainly), they said that i'll start from the "Inspired By" stage before i graduate to "Designed By" stage. i strongly agree with that since i really suck at drawing and i know neither head nor tail about type of cloth, stitching or whatever. hahaaaaaaaaaaaa! =p

so!! basically i will give sometime's bag designer some of my ideas, they will incorporate the ideas to suit the market and errr.. i forgot how the process is like.

i will meet the bag designer soon, in sha Allah to discuss about the bag designs and stuff.

oh gosh.. i'm inspired already!

check out their facebook page too to catch their bag updates =D

i'll share with you more about this soon! can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt!!!!!
=D

salam!

Girl talk Part 3

Assalamualaikum wahai pembaca dan pengunjung Malaysia di bulan December yang awesome ini =P

ahak ahak ahakk!!

last weekend was my engagement with mr.asfirdaus asri and family. can you believe it?

i'm someone's tunang dah! hahaaha!!

syukur alhamdulillah ='D

on my engagement day, the baju kurung i wore was actually my mother's baju bersanding and it's 28 years old!!! it looks just as new and alhamdulillah i can fit in them. terror kan? so take note girls! make a real decent baju kurung (because it fits any occasion, in my opinion) on your wedding day or any special day so that you can pass it down to your daughters. i'll be wearing my mom's baju nikah on my nikah day as well. ahak! =D
and, subhanAllah, the hantarans.. my mom made them herself! i bought the gifts and she decorated it so beautifully, to the point that some actually thought we hired someone to do it. it's really that gorgeous!!

mom's work of art =')

mom's baju bersanding =)

my cousin, Faressa, did my make up and i loved it. it wasn't heavy and it was just perfect! you can check her out at her blog! i was wearing maysaa cream snood and Calaqisya shawl. have to thank Yana for making them specially for me. =D

as i was getting made up by faressa, and when i saw the watch was showing that it was nearing 3pm, i became ecstatic and restless! terus jadi hyper! kesian my friends, terpaksa layan i. hahaha!

while i was upstairs, preparing and waiting, my family were busy preparing as well to greet asfirdaus's family who some came all the way from melaka and seremban. bless them =')

when they arrived and when i saw satu group pakai purple gelap (their theme colour) terus perut macam buat somersault swimming freestyle flip turn. amboi lah. jadi nervous pulaaakk! hahaha! but it was only momentarily.

after hearing some snippets of balas pantun between my uncle, Babo and Asfirdaus's grandfather, Tok, i was delighted again. they were really funny! i missed the part where they discussed about the wedding dates, hantaran, etc etc but oh well. i was just eager to walk in macam queen towards the pelamin. hahaha! =p

asfirdaus's tok from melaka as his spokesperson =D

the guys in my family clearly entertained by his jokes!

my uncle as my family's spokesperson evidently making everyone laugh (tgk tok as!) hehee! thanks babo!

and so, after everything was agreed and settled, as's mom placed the engagement ring dan secara langsungnya saya menjadi almost-daughter-in-law beliau. teeheee!!!

oh joy ='D

insyallah soon, they will be my in-laws!

all in all, it was a pleasant day. cuma after the whole thing, i didn't mingle much with asfirdaus's family.. i feel bad about it still. i wanted to talk to them but bila dah depan muka, i jadi segan macam entahpape.
i was tongue-tied tak tentu pasal pastu all i did was smile macam kambing mintak penampar and then macam awkward sorang sorang. *facepunch*
i memang ada weakness tak reti nak strike a conversation with aunts/uncles yang tak kenal.. in fact, i memang tak reti nak small talk! if they're above my age group, i jadi gagap.
motif kan? haihhhh.. takpe. i have 1 year to redeem myself!! ahak!

so, all the pics here were taken by Udey and Mukhriz! they made everything look RM1mill worth padahal tak pun! hehe! so do check out their facebook page for more amazing photos and Udey's blog and Mukhriz's blog! strongly recommended!! =D

alhamdulillah, Allah swt had granted a lovely day! everything went well, the food was good, the decorations were amazing, asfirdaus and his family arrived safely to our house and back to theirs, and asfirdaus and myself are now happily engaged!

also, a HUGE thanks to my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my brothers and ultimately

MY PARENTS!

korang memang terbaik!

next:

nikah. a start of a new chapter in our lives. 

before i end this post, here's an AWESOME video which basically summarises the engagement!

Maria Elena Zarul & Asfirdaus Asri Engagement Ceremony from Shafiq Zamri on Vimeo.

thank you all for your amazing support and well wishes!!

i thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly. =')

Girl talk Part 2

Assalamualaikum!

ahak ahak ahak!!

ahaaaaaaakk!

ok ok. mars, leklu.

last few weeks, ada 2 kereta awesome ni datang rumah.

my parents and i sambut la these awesome guests. =D

so Asfirdaus's family came over to our house and our families met for the first time!

jauh gak their journey to come to our place. =') 

so their purpose is to menjadi perisik. haha! joking joking.

untuk merisik.

heheee!! =p

ni berlakon je ya. =p

after discussion between our families, it's sarung cincin timeee!

woohoo!!

tokmak memang suka mencelah dalam gambar. hehehehe!!! comel tul!

after the whole discussion, we proceeded to the dining area and had some food prepared by my dear tokwan. tokwan memang best!

the men talked about serious stuff, while the ladies just talk about almost everything else. my cat ni suka menyibuk and fatin, pantang nampak my camera! hahaa!

my mom and asfirdaus's mom dah best friend too, alhamdulillah!

all in all, alhamdulillah syukur that everything went well. im glad that we're finally taking that step (eventhough this is just one small step) towards, insyallah, marriage.

and i'm sooooo glad that his family can accept me to be part of theirs. ye la, saya ni takde la perfect mana. still a lot to improve on myself. syukur.. =')

i don't think it's common for people to talk about risik time kan. but i'm sharing this part of my life because i truly appreciate your support and prayers for myself and asfirdaus to be together. insyallah, kalau Allah SWT izinkan, kita akan go towards what we prayed for. =)

please dear friends, pray that Allah SWT dapat permudahkan perjalanan kami semua dan sekeluarga.

thank you all so much! 

=D