Saturday, August 25, 2012

perspektif orang yang tak bertudung pastu pakai tudung: Part 2

assalamualaikum wbt!

subhanallah! alhamdulillah! Allahuakbar!!

it's syawal already!!
time flies really quickly these days =O

anyway, i've been wanting to write this for the longest time: my perspective from a person who wasn't covered, to now is. i pray hope that i will continue on till the end of my time. in sha Allah =)

this year is my second year of being a hijaber. (weeeee!)
i'm still very much muslim than when i wasn't a hijaber. however, many things have changed since. i've written about my first time wearing it in this old post and i find it weird how people would leave a comment on a post as old as that too. come on peeps. dah 2 tahun kot. 

=)
bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

my initial intention was to be a better person. 2 years ago, i wanted to wear tudung because i thought it would make me see something i couldn't see.
i ni the kind yang suka observe and will try to understand people's actions. i read fictional books not because i like to transport myself into a fantasy world or anything like that, but mainly because i like to read about the characters. it's like a shortcut for me to see other people's perspective.

so before being a hijaber, i wondered like why laa do people always make a fuss about tudung. it's just a piece of cloth! chill la! takyah la paksa pakai! i pakai bila i nak la! islam bukan agama paksaan! i tau la wajib tapi chill la! my grave is my grave! - i used to answer to people's nagging about tudung.
in 2010, when i took that one selendang and wrapped it around my head, covering my hair and most of my neck area, all i wanted to know was how can this piece of cloth, could make me a better person.

alhamdulillah. with tears on my face now as i'm typing this, i believe it did make me into a better person.
i don't know how much better, but definitely it's different now.

it took me about a year to get used to wearing shawls. i bought so many types of shawls to understand the kinds of material that suits me best, which ones can be styled easiest, etc etc. my concerns were more towards fashion because.. well.. i wanted to feel good wearing it in order to get used to it..

the next step for me was to understand Islam and finding the Truth.
alhamdulillah, the Quran had been my bestest best ever best of the best friend ever on this journey!
it's true, when people tell you that the Quran is the best form of hidayah, believe them. get one with translations and read it.
i went to several book stores to buy a Quran with translations (you can find them in MPH and Kinokuniya), but i found my mom's Quran (with translations of course) at home which she bought in Mekah when she did her hajj!! so takyah beli! yayy! i was so happy then and when i started reading it, masyAllah..
every turning page is either a slap on the face or new knowledge.
the strongest ayat which gave me the biggest slap was Surah Ali-Imran, ayat 185. i posted it in my tentang hijab post and everytime, sampai sekarang ayat tu macam terngiang ngiang dalam kepala otak.

of course there are so many ayats which repetitively remind us about how worldly pleasures are only temporary while the hereafter is eternity, but this ayat was the first one to struck me real hard.

and then came the song "If i die young" by the band perry.

when i heard the song on the radio the first time (and many times after), i cried.
this particular verse haunted me:

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

firstly, i don't want my mom to bury me.
secondly, if she had to, yes i want her to know i'm safe in Paradise.
thirdly, i know i have to die eventually, my death is written but it's a secret no one will ever know. it's like jumping off a cliff and not knowing when you'll hit the ground.
it's scary!!!
lastly, if the life of anyone i love would be taken earlier than mine, i don't want them to be burdened by my sins.. if anything, i want everyone to enter Paradise.. in sha Allah..

so like i mentioned earlier, "i wanted to wear tudung because i thought it would make me see something i couldn't see", and yes. i saw.

i saw how much i lacked. how little my knowledge in islam was and how much i've taken it for granted.

oh Allah.. ampunilah hambaMu ini Ya Allah.. 
i was too proud before.. i thought i knew my religion! but what i knew was only the basic stuff. stuff we learn in school i soon realised, were not enough. there're so much more to know! 
it became more apparent about how little i know even though i've studied Islam and went to usrahs. when i went to do my first ever umrah earlier this year.. i was embarrassed. ashamed of myself. malu sangat nak bertemu Dia..

my change ni kan, was from out to in.
meaning to say, i had to change my outlook and lifestyle first and gradually progress on the inside, the heart and mind. some people go through this too and some start changing from in to out. which means some people change their hearts and minds first before changing their outlook and lifestyle.
whichever way it is, both are good. it is normal for human to always want to be better. it's just a matter of how much effort we're willing to put and how much we're willing to sacrifice.
and before any of you start judging others or questioning other people's intentions, remember.. "today i am better than you, but maybe tomorrow, you will be better than me." - this saying generally. when we see people who hasn't performed their best, make a doa for them.

The Prophet said: "The dua of a Muslim for his brother (in Islam) in his absence is readily accepted. An angel is appointed to his side. Whenever he makes a beneficial dua for his brother the appointed angel says, 'Aameen. And may you also be blessed with the same.'" [Sahih Muslim]

doakan terbaik untuk orang lain, maka in sha Allah kita pun dapat kebaikan tersebut =) Allah SWT sememangnya Maha Pemurah & Maha Penyayang!

SO! to finish this off, before, i used to think hijab is the act of covering ourselves physically. but now the 'hijab' which means covering, to me, is the act of covering from head to toe with modesty, being modest, portraying a believer of Islam, a form of jihad (though i know it's not a big type of jihad), and all of that with the intention of pleasing Allah SWT. and that is why i call myself a hijaber. macam doa la since nak ber-istiqamah kan =) in sha Allah.

and as an advice, if you know what you're doing is something good, don't hesitate. just do it, pray for the best and tawakal. maybe your first intention macam "off" sikit tapi takpe. try to improve from time to time =)
takde masalah la! hehee =D

all the best uolls!
i love you lillahi taala =)
salam!

62 comments:

twenty-first-me said...

Alhamdulillah. Semoga semua muslim & muslimat sentiasa menuju ke arah kebaikan, serta berusaha sebaik mungkin menjalankan tugas sebagai hamba & khalifah Allah. Amin ya Rabb.

Apis Hilton said...

can u snap the front cover of your Al-Quran (the one with the transation). the translation looks like it is easy to be understood compared to the one I saw in MPH. tq

the raihan said...

One said, a pious person has a past, a sinner has a future. that little, simple statement, motivates me every single day. life is a struggle, it may be hard (duh, doing good thin"gs is NEVER easy esp with iman seciput ni) so i guess, He will reward His servants based on the efforts they made. Baby steps. Love to read your blog because I think i can relate the posts very much to my situation,

anyways, Boona said was right "In sha Allah you say, u'll change ur ways one day,the only problem is, we're supposed to praise like we have no more days"

straight to the hear.

keep up the good posts, Maria. You post is da'wah too. :)

the raihan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AHMAD AFIQ said...

sokong n mengingatkan bila perlu. sama2 la yer =)

Ain Amalina said...

tears down kak mariaaaaa, really a good entry, even i am a hijaber
im still doing a lot of mistakes
it doesn't mean people don't change, kak maria, small effort sometimes can give a really big impact. :)

Sabrina said...

Im on my way too...insyaAllah. I want to wear hijab properly. Been selling handmades bracelets to gain some funds for me to buy good clothes that covers aurah properly. Doa for my journey! Amin!

Sue Huss said...

alhamdulillah.. masa saya baca post 2 tahun lepas tu.. rasa tak sedap hati je.. macam pakai tudung men-men je.. iman kita nih mmg turun naik.. ada masa malas.. ada masa rajin.. dah kita pun bukan maksum mcm Rasulullah.. tp.. hukum Allah tetap hukum Allah.. soal ikhlas tak ikhlas bukan lagi persoalannya.. macam kita pakai baju sekolah kaler putih and kain biru.. boleh tak some days.. kita pakai kain bunga2.. simply bcos hari tuh rasa tak ikhlas nak pakai kain biru.. ofkos la tak ley kan.. bila kita dah commit nak masuk public school.. suka tak suka. iklas tak iklas.. kena sarung gak kain biru.. and bila kita dah ucap kalimah syahadah.. dari alam roh lagi.. suka tak suka.. ikhlas tak ikhlas. kena tutup aurat.. minta maaf pada yg tak setuju dgn komen saya.. tp.. ini lah hakikat insan beragama dan beriman..

Captain Jet said...

Alhamdulillah good for you sister!

Actually there are some things that we need to force ourselves because it is demanded/obligatory in Islam. Even UAI pon have spoken of this before. Kalau nak tunggu "nantila I umur 30 baru pakaila", "tunggula nanti bila rase nak pakai, bila dapat hidayah, bila rasa ikhlas baru I pakai"; mungkin berjanggut kot tunggu. Just imagine if you died before you reach 30??! Just imagine if you died before God give you enlightenment??! Nauzubillah!

At least you have covered your hair, you obliged to what was demanded from you as a servant, even though the act might be insincere at FIRST! Soon it will become a habit & insyaAllah, later you will gradually SEE & naturally your nawaitu will slowly become lillahitaala & insyaAllah, Allah will open you heart to His hidayah :-D

I, myself, was forced to wear tudung after reaching puberty ;-) and thanks to my parents I'm glad I was forced to :-D

^Just my 2 pennies for those who are still hesitating whether they should wear tudung or not.

umie ZaRa said...

Entry yg sgt2 jujur...very pround of u,dear.

Adrina said...

tears pouring down, thumbs up kak maria <3

Anasyg said...

tabik springles kat u maria. This entri shud've been read by other hijabers kat luar yg tau nak membalut-belit kepala je, tp attitud meliar gak. Hijab is the act of covering. Suka ayat tu.

Hikaru Yui said...

semoga tulisan2 yg mcm ni dapat memberi kesan baik kpd org2 yg baru2 nak pakai tudung atau belum pakai even bg yg dah lama pakai pun...

che'pi said...

TQ.... sangat berguna.. :)

___Syaa said...

Salam kak maria. seriusly sgt touching bace entry ni. Saye yang dari dulu pakai tudung ni pon belum dapat mendalami Islam sepenuhnya :')

✿Lady Ainaa✿ said...

berhijab itu wajib.. InsyaAllah, kalau kita mahu kembali ke jalan yg betul, Allah akan membantu kita sama ada cara yg baik atau dengan ujian yg diberi...

Violet Grace said...

Maria, this is a very sincere and deep entry. Sebak bila baca cos I totally understand every word you wrote. May Allah bless you always... (((hugs)))...

boni kacak said...

:)

Atiqah Wadiah said...

alhamdulillah..klu niat kita baik utk b'ubah,InsyaALLAH ALLAH akan tlg kita :)

Ana Farhana said...

i feel like crying.. oh kak maria, ni btl2 dr hati ni. tersentuh :'(

Cik Ezza. said...

salute habes! tak sume orang bole type camni. to me, u did great. :)

Si Budak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kula said...

Perjuangan melawan nafsu adalah jihad yang besar, bukan benda yang remeh. Bila kita nak berubah, akan melalui proses mujahadah. Mujahadah itu pahit kerana syurga itu manis. Semoga kita semua dapat hidayah & kekuatan :)

stardust. said...

Salam maria, i've left u a message on ur fb and twitter about ur photos on your myspace. I hope u've read my message. Tried to reach u in any possible way i could but i knw u must have thousands of messages on ur fb n twitterdaily that u did not notice mine.

The LILPINK said...

MashaAllaah Maria. This is one great post. I have been wearing my hijab since I was four, but I fully understood the benefit and reason behind it when I reached 19. When I was younger, I thought of it as just a peace of cloth that I am already used to wearing. But now, it's far more different.

i have similar sitch as you are with some differences. glad you posted abt it.


visit my blog:
www.lilpink.info
www.lilpink.info
www.lilpink.info

athirah said...

;) nice kak... alhamdulillah

Danshiseito said...

Alhamdulillah telah bertudung, tapi tudung bukan setakat menutup leher, tutuplah dengan sempurna sehingga tempat patut ditutup. Semoga perubahan saudara membawa barakah

nana said...

Dear kak maria... Im a new hijaber that hijrah after reading your writing, u inspired and showed me that hijab is not only about fashion. Im slowly moving forward to understand the true meaning of it and whats hidden inside the Quran. Thanks kak maria..

BABY(MAMA AMANA&ARIEF) said...

setiap masa kita kan berubh.. dgn peredaran umur dan masa insyaallah

Nadia Elena said...

Ya Allah, give us the best in this life and give us the best in the Hereafter, and save us from the Hell-fire, Ameen..

BlossomSakura said...

every good things we did will eventually leads us to a better ending...insyallah ^^

fifie said...

Menutup aurat itu adalah satu kewajipan, walaupun terpaksa buat, tapi harus buat jugak. InsyaAllah lama kelamaan kita terbiasa. Thumbs up kak maria.

raudhah mohd salleh said...

tuhan telah memilih kamu untuk memberi hadayah-Nya.mambruuk!

Yotsuba said...

nice and thanks for sharing, i learn a lot from this post.... ;)

Shasha Ryzal said...

i'm trying to change too. from in to out like what you write. harap satu hari nanti impian saya tu akan betul2 jadi kenyataan. thanks for sharing btw. :')

O'gosh said...

entri yang banyak membangkitkan kesedaran....tq maria....moga kita semua sama2 berusaha ke arah yang lebih baik...

duniafana said...

Sifat Penyayang Allah melebihi KemurkaanNya...belajar bertudung insyaAllah mendapat ketenangan

fickel minded said...

i just recently learned on covering my hair.i mean wearing hijab. some days u can be so motivated and some days can be the other way around but this post really inspires me.thanks maria!

``Felicia Kok. said...

Omgosh, you are really pretty ><
You look so pretty with tudung tooooo!!!
Btw, do visit my blog for pre-loved items.
Am selling them.
Some are new too.
Just doesn't suit me :(
http://imperfectness.blogspot.com/2012/08/early-bird-catches-worm.html

anas h. said...

you're very inspirational. i'm glad my girlfriend looks up to you. she couldn't have picked a better person. please don't stop posting on your blog. i think you also changed my point of view about people. "today i am better than you, but maybe tomorrow, you will be better than me." best piece of advice i've ever heard.

لين Si Pipi Merah said...

Dakwah ini berdiri di atas emosi, kerana itu perempuan lebih berminat kepada dakwah. :) terinpirasi!

Shah Sulong said...

thanks Maria for this article. mostly for verse 3 Al Maidah.

you see, i'm a hijaber too, for a longer time but a lot of the Fiqh part and whatnots i'm most ignorant.

and on the last day of Ramadhan, i ended my Quranic reading with the said verse. it struck a very deep chord in my heart. because i really wish that my religion is truly perfected.

there and then i realised that the prayera that i perform, are not only because i worship Allah, but is also a part of His blessing for me. if He cares not to hear my du'a, i would have feel free to abandon my prayers or perform it late etc.

thank you again. may we become the true hijaber in Allah's eyes~

asmat90 said...

thanx for dis info...:)
singgah cni..http://2merah1ungu3c.blogspot.com/2012/08/novel-tuk-anda.html

Sharidawati Shahrudin said...

suka statement ni..

"today i am better than you, but maybe tomorrow, you will be better than me."

fadyxc said...

i have been meaning to find a reliable tafsir al-quran, can u suggest it? especially like the one that u show with the picture

perantauminda said...

Bertudung Belum Tentu Menutup Aurat.
Tudung Dan Pakaian Di Badan Harus Sama Selari.
Untuk Peringatan Kita Bersama.

http://wanitamelayuseksa.blogspot.com

QAS said...

benda sama terjadi pada saya,bila saya baca kak maria punya entry ni mcm baca cerita saya. sekarang saya pun sedang berusaha,nak berubah.bukan hanya pakai tudung semata.jujur saya cakap mmng sukar untuk berubah.tapi insyaallah Allah sentiasa mudahkan jalan:) doakan untuk saya.

QAS said...

benda sama terjadi pada saya,bila saya baca kak maria punya entry ni mcm baca cerita saya. sekarang saya pun sedang berusaha,nak berubah.bukan hanya pakai tudung semata.jujur saya cakap mmng sukar untuk berubah.tapi insyaallah Allah sentiasa mudahkan jalan:) doakan untuk saya.

Jihan Rufaidah said...

Hi kak maria! I really love this post. It's very very inspiring. And i just started to wear hijab 4 months ago. Alhamdulillah i feel great and willing to be a better muslim as time goes by. After reading your post, i almost cried and feel that there's so much more to learn about islam. Keep posting kak maria! :)

nourash! said...

wow great post,,,selamat berhijrah ya


http://whenmilkmeettea.blogspot.com

Faiqah Umaira said...

I think this is my first time posting a comment in ur blog. It's all because I can feel what u feel and because I truly and deeply understand u. Allah is ALWAYS with u! Sis, keep learning Al-Quran to inspire urself and inspire others by writing in ur blog!

nuriqa said...

mohon share kak maria...so inspired:)

lemonisggrey said...

Assalamualaikum kak maria,
hai, sy selalu bace blog kak maria:)
Alhamdulillah sometimes it inspire me to become a good muslimah. i start wearing hijab when i was 15. back then, i just followed je kakak pkai saya pun pkai. dan dlm diri 'kalau tak pakai tudung dosa'. well budak2 lagi kan. but then bila habis form 5 my mom ajak belajar agama balik. belajar solat and evrithing. at first mmg2 sgt liat. then im fallin in love with Islam. baru faham kenapa Allah tetapkan sesuatu hukum, dan kenapa tu kenapa ni. dan baru faham apa yang kita selalu ungkapkan 'aku cinta Allah'.
barulah termasuk betul2 di dlm jiwa. youre right when write this

oh Allah.. ampunilah hambaMu ini Ya Allah..
i was too proud before.. i thought i knew my religion! but what i knew was only the basic stuff. stuff we learn in school i soon realised, were not enough. there're so much more to know!

agreed much!
thanks kak maria. luv u.
kahwin jgn lupe jemput ye:P
just saying;)

ᎻᏃᏃᎥᎬ ᎫᏁᏁᎥᎬ said...

I love you lillahi taala too :)
Big THANK YOU for sharing this kak mars.

Adopted Waterlily said...

Alhamdulillah..and maybe you forgot to mention that a daughter's sin always go to the father.. He will be questioned about each of her sin in the afterlife. Love our father by reducing his burdens there..

a good post indeed, good job maria!
may this open our sisters' mind out there inshaAllah :)

Bunga Bunga Hutan said...

:) Alhamdulillah...
that piece of clothes really did make us a better person...


Psst: really like this post :)

...miSS fAi... said...

air mata bergenang... serius... syukur alhamdulillah. moga kita semua sama-sama akan terus beristiqamah di jalan Allah. amin amin amin

Halif Mohamad said...

Saya doakan yang baik-baik sahaja untuk awak Maria, semoga anda menjadi insan yang anda idamkan..InsyaAllah. You are more beautiful with this hijab because you know the meaning/reasons of wearing it. Allah has chosen you to be a better muslimah.

Syahirah Ismail said...

I really admire your blog. What I really like about your blog is your way of writing is very simple and bubbly. Even you are very well known in this blogger’s world, you are being very humble and nice towards everyone. You really love to travel. I am sure it is everyone’s dream to travel across the world and enjoys God’s blissful creature. I’m a Muslim and one of a hijabsters. This is what I adore you the most because you can be my source of inspiration to dress up but still covering our ‘aurat’. Sometimes you like to blog something that very give me motivation to live my life wisely.

Aizatul Luqman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
norliyana ahmad zainuri said...

Alhamdulillah... maria.. segala yg baik dtg dari Yg Maha Esa... kita hamba yg lemah sentiasa lupa ttg diri kita.. dimana kita bermula.. semua dtg dr Dia.. kdg2 mmg kita pikir pedulilah apa org nak ckp.. kubur masing2.. but kalau org lain xigtkan kita, kita juga akan tersesat jauh.. bukan kah dakwah itu sesuatu yg wajib... good for u.. berubah kpd yg baik.. gooo hijaberrrsss

Aleesya Yasmeen said...

alhamdulillah ini juga tahun kedua sya pakai tudung :) ofis sya ni x ijin marketing macam saya pakai tudung,, sebenarnya dah lama rasa nak pakai tp rasa takut,, takut x bole kerja,, takut susah nak dpt kerja sbb pakai tudung, x kerja x boleh dpt uang...x de uang x bole hidup.. macam pelik laa....but oneday i realize kita ni hidup karena Allah,,Dia yang bagi kita rizki bukan company2 tu... so ni lah sya sekarng,, trying and learning to be a better person..insyaAllah lillahita'ala