Have you ever felt so "dry" in your heart? Like you don't feel moved at all when watching islamic videos? You don't feel that closeness you once felt, or perhaps you've never felt it and wish to know what it feels like? Is it happening to you?
It is known that our iman goes up and down, and as there will be a time when we are at our best form in our ibadah, there will also be a time when we will be in a s l u m p.
But let the slump not overtake you now... not now during these last few nights of ramadhan 🙌
Disclaimer: i am not an ustazah, nor am i anywhere near that level. Just a regular person.
As usual, i am only speaking through personal experience, so my suggestions may not be the textbook type but nonetheless, it could be somewhat relatable and practical for you, inshaAllah.
1. Try to cry in your prayers.
In spirit of the last ten nights of ramadhan, we should try and catch malam laylatul qadar kan and perform solat tahajjud. I watched a few videos now and one of the things i remember is that when we do our solat tahajjud, having tears while making doa is recommended.
Now, why should we cry when praying tahajjud?
During the fardhu prayers, nak nangis masa doa tu boleh, but realistically, we're all probably have things we have to tend to and that's why it hasn't been told that we should cry when making doas at those times. Ok so, specifically tahajjud during ramadhan, because we have to break ourselves. Break our own walls, pour out our deepest darkest regrets and hopes, expose our vulnerability to Allah SWT, because at that time, when everyone is asleep, no one will judge you.
No one will stand behind you waiting for you, no one will be looking at you, recording you or whatever. It's that dead time of night when you alone can tell Allah SWT everything. Everything. Even though we all know Allah is All-Knowing, He knows deep in our hearts, our intentions, He knows us better than we know ourselves, but tell Him anyway. From what i understand, bila kita merintih pada Allah, bila kita open and honest with Allah, we automatically become dependent to Allah, acknowledging that He is Almighty, Most Loving, Most Merciful.
When we are completely honest with Allah SWT, we are honest to ourselves too. And how generous Allah is that even when He knows, He still would listen to us.
But say you can't wake up for tahajjud, then try to appoint a prayer that you can absolutely pour your heart out. Maybe masa solat isyak? Or masa solat subuh? Masa tengah stuck in jam otw balik rumah from work?
2. Try to see the people who have less.
Look around you and can you see the blessings that Allah has given you, without you asking for them? For example amazing parents, caring siblings, money that comes easily, healthy family, abundance of food, job that you love, a home, people that are precious to you, and so much more.
Look at where we are now. We are muslims in a country that practicing islam is very easy, we can dress like one without prejudice or fear, halal food is everywhere, masjid is everywhere. Isn't that amazing? Rezeki tu! We have clothes, education, shelter, means to live by, and so much more, and i am confident that you know that halfway across the world, our own brothers and sisters in islam are devastated, victimised, oppressed, abused just because they believe that there's no god other than Allah SWT and Nabi Muhammad SAW is the messenger of Allah SWT.
Gratitude.
So many things we should be grateful for, so take some time and look around. Observe your surroundings, your environment, your people, your condition. Your past, your present. Be grateful for the smallest details to the biggest things. The way your eyes are working fine, the way your limbs are working well. Take time to ponder.
Remember that memang tak rugi langsung nak bersyukur, because the more you are grateful, the more Allah SWT will give.
Whenever you see people who are doing laborious jobs, make doa for them. Doa that Allah SWT will bless them with strength, patience, strong faith, rezeki, protection and more. We never know when our conditions will change, so be grateful and also be mindful of others.
3. Think of your death.
If ever you've been in a near death situation, the fear that it could've ended there knowing that you could've done more in life for the sake of your hereafter, can be a motivation to continuously improve your life.
If you've never had the experience, try imagining it. Emphatise with people who had had the experience or unfortunately did not survive the situation. Ambil pengajaran dari pengalaman orang lain. It could be from movies/shows you've watched, even from the tiktoks too.
Honestly... this is something i subconsciously do from time to time.. it does make me become a more paranoid person. I don't highly recommend this but it could work for you kan. Because i sometimes do things recklessly, and i am sorta clumsy and aloof that imagining the horrific ways i could've K.O'ed forces me to be extra vigilant and careful.
I want a death that is beautiful so that i can be resurrected in front of Allah SWT beautifully. (Amiiin)
In remembering that our death is imminent, that life is temporary, your core could be shooketh kan. When it is shooketh, maybe you can let go of that tightness in your heart and depend on Allah 💪
4. Let GO~
Whether by sedekah or wakaf, let go of the material.
I watched Marie Kondo few years ago and her principles are so much aligned with islamic habits. We need to let go of things that doesn't 'spark joy'. Cleaning out our closet is not as easy if everything in it has some kind of value to us. The more things you have, the less space you have for important stuff.
The same applies with our heart. The more we fill it with unnecessary things, the less space we have to feel other things. I tell you, letting go of things is not as easy as it seems. Even more so the things that actually do 'spark joy'.
Many years ago i learned and practiced to give the things that i do love away. My favourite baju, my favourite tudung, my bag, things that has high sentimental value to me, i gave them away.
I actually cried the first time doing it! But i had to do it because i had so much stuff and because i don't want to be attached to worldly materials. I wanted to get rid of things that made me seek comfort from it rather than seeking comfort from Allah.
The cleaning out part really hurts the heart and made me consider about the money i spent on things that doesn't benefit me or anyone (for example ada baju yang agak sexy. Nak sedekah pun segan!) and then regret. Regret for letting myself be swayed by trends, seeking reputation, and that superiority feeling tu.. 😣
Bila dah regret, then promise myself not to repeat my mistakes again. This is the kind of repentance that can melt a hardened heart, inshaAllah.
5. If you're always on social media, watch things that can move your heart.
Find out what made you cry. Was it that commercial about father-daughter relationship? Was it the efforts of a teacher for their students? Was it the recitation of the Quran? Was it stories of trial and triumph?
Once upon a time, i was in my cold heart state and what made me weep so hard was when i watched stuff related to parents. It made me realise how much i love and would do for my parents. Tapi i ni tsundere type so i never told them about my feelings for them. Even now it feels awkward to be all skinship and stuff.. So since i couldn't say it outright to them, i pray for them. And this can really make me weep. Thinking about their sacrifices, their pains when raising me, just remembering them makes my heart shooketh.
Find that thing for you. What melted your frozen heart?
And from that one point, try to take time to ponder on it. Why does your heart moved by that video/quote/photo etc? How does it reflect in your real life? Ask questions and maybe you'll be able to find a trigger and that trigger can be a starting point to melt the frozen heart.
6. Pray for a better heart.
Once upon a time, i learned about this. Pray for a better heart. I was confused at first, because what was said about it wasn't like "Ya Allah, please make my heart better & healthy", but more like "Ya Allah, please if i can't change my heart, please change it for me". I don't remember who said it... it was so long ago but it stuck to me.
The idea is, Allah SWT is Almighty and when He says "Be!", it shall be. Betul kan? So when it comes to our heart, what we are feeling and what we are thinking, sometimes are out of our control. Like how i am clumsy; it's not like i want to be clumsy kan? I just am. Then when we ask for Allah to change our heart for a better one, He definitely can. And we are no wiser to it. I mean, think about it ek. We can't even fathom Allah's true powers. It is beyond our capacity of knowledge and imagination! We can't even imagine what's going on in the ocean and the deepest space, so who are we to doubt Allah?
With that said, what's wrong with asking for Allah to change our heart to a better, purer, uncorrupted heart?
This is what will happen: when you pray to Allah for a better heart, tell Him why you want it in the first place. Tell him your problem with your heart. Maybe start with "Ya Allah, my heart is not easily moved by Your blessings. I am grateful but my heart doesn't feel the sweetness in submitting. Please change my heart, please guide me, pull me towards Your way, cure me....".
And as you're elaborating your wishes and hopes, try to imagine the state of the heart you truly want.
And repeat. And repeat.
And repeat from number 1 until here.
Itu je i can think of for now, unfortunately. Or fortunately?
Hehe!!
Anyway, i really hope that this will help you in your journey towards becoming a better person. Nothing small goes away unnoticed by Allah. So if you're struggling with something, there's always google. Google for islamic lessons, go to Youtube and search for solutions in the way of islam.
From my experience, every problem we have, whether personal, societal, semua ada solution dia in the Quran cuma of course, kita kena berusaha to find the answers la kan.
And when we do find the answers, make the effort to do something about it. Jangan jadi macam lembu. Bila dah diberi jawapan, diberi cara-cara, tapi tanak buat apa apa..
This is also a reminder for me.
Sebab i pun.... haih.
Therefore, know that you noticing something amiss within yourself, and then you trying to do something about it is already an amazing thing! So keep it up and follow through. You can take it slow, but don't stop the progress! 💪
May Allah make us be able to become better servants to Him, that we can istiqamah with our good habits and actions selama bulan ramadhan ni sampai ke liang lahat, may Allah give us a beautiful heart, may Allah shower us in His blessings, and may Allah open our hijab towards His signs.
Amiiin~
Take care people, and selamat mengejar malam lailatul qadar!
