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Friday, November 24, 2017

Loneliness is Good

So being a mom contains a lot of fun (and difficulty and challenges and cleaning and wiping and trying to understand what is going on with your kids) discoveries about the upbringing of our kids.

When i first started being a housewife, i felt super deprived.
I was deprived of my social needs.
For many years i have been surrounded by people and suddenly, i was alone with a weeping child and it was lonely.

I'm lucky and grateful that i live near to my parent's house which means my only socialising activities were around my mom. But still. I felt left out of my own circle.

Friends around me started talking about stuff that i gradually couldn't catch up with, and there were times i just listen and pretend to be part of something.

Lama lama, i just gave up.
I hate pretending and i hate feeling like i "need" to belong.

I belong to me.
I should be happy with me.
And my family, of course. Especially my kids, since i'm with them 24-7.

So i started on my own path away from my people.
Walking alone and facing my problems as alone as i could, and keeping all the stories to myself.

What i realised now after all these years, is that this is Allah's way of keeping me away from things i were participating in:
Bad mouthing
Unnecessary talking

I still have to control on my word vomit, but the big part was staying away from it.

If you're feeling lonely, left out and perhaps irrelevant, know that it's the only way we can learn to control ourselves.
If Allah doesn't present this "loneliness" to us, we probably gain more sins (nauzubillah min zalik), so maybe loneliness is not so bad!

Being by ourselves with our own thoughts, actions and words in control, it allows us to be who we truly are.

Don't be afraid of loneliness.

Accept it, and use it to be a better person.
InshaAllah =)

Cue lagu BSB =p


Lynd Abu Bakar Vitalynd said...

Yeahhh.. agree.
Masa i kerja, i try so hard to avoid all the "bercerita pasal org" (mengumpat) but i was fun when we talk about others.

Then, menyesal. So promise to myself not to do it again tomorrow.
Hahahaha.. macamana nak elakkan.
So now, i am fully housewife and i really appreciate that part.
I never feel lonely because i always have time to talk to myself and Allah.

Socialise is ok. But not everyday and i'm being selective with my circle.. 😊😊😊

After 2 years.. Alhamdulillah.. I belum mereput dirumah .😊

Nurul Nadiah said...

aha... and when with others, benda yang paling penting was cari kawan yang always positive and don't think bad for others.. i ada sorang kawan macam tu.. always in positive aura bila dengan dia.. hati gundah pun boleh jadi tenang gitu...

Maria Elena Zarul said...


Stay positive or be around positive people =D

yuya naka said...

Sometimes, I feel awkward duduk dlm crowd yg enthusiast sgt ckp psl org or complaining about something. Bila orang ckp sesuatu yg I actually against it, I choose to remain silent. I feel awkward dan serba salah bila memilih utk senyap, but when I said something yg bukan dari hati, in the end of conversation, rasa menyesal.

I realized lebih baik jd lone ranger drpd tersilap mengeluarkan kata2 yg boleh memakan diri di akhirat nnt. Kita senyap, org mengata. Kita berkata, org masih lagi mengata. Tapi bila kita memilih jalan tuhan, hati akan lebih selesa. Anyway, mulut org masih mengata. Let them be, doakan mereka. Biarpun sgt SUSAH nak ignore apa org fikir psl kita!

Keyra_JK said...

So true! Sometimes being alone is good..