Monday, April 18, 2016

Personal view on LGBT


I think almost all famous shows i've been watching on Netflix & Hulu, mesti ada a hint of gayness.
Gay dude being all diva, lesbian couple, y'know?
It's like they're making sure all shows have some element of LGBT so that it'll seem normal for us.

Just the other day, my cousin and i were talking about it while our kids were playing in my house. The conversation sparked because of the reality show "I am Cait", about Caitlyn Jenner.
In case some of you don't know, it's the kardashians' stepdad and Kendall & Kylie Jenner's dad, Bruce Jenner, an ex-olympian runner, who turned himself into a woman.

It was last year when he/she suddenly became the talk of all variety/entertainment medias.
I honestly couldn't care less about the kardashians let alone the jenners, but without knowing how, i got sucked up into the news.
See how media make us care about things are not even worth our braincells!

So anyway, my cousin and i were talking about he/she, and i admitted that i don't know how i should react to transgenders. The pondans, the pengkids, i've met nice ones, and i've befriended some pengkids too in the past.
I have nothing against them, but i know i shouldn't be encouraging too.

Then there're these people who say "It's between me & God", "i was born this way", or whatever, well.. Yeah. It is between them and God, but we can't just let them think it's not in their power to change.
Because we all have this fight with nafsu.
I do. I've got lots of fights with myself! It's like a tag-team wrestling match, where i'm alone on one side, and all my nafsu on the other and they're changing places but sometimes they come 2 at a time. We win some fights, we lose some. But no matter what, the fight must go on. We'll get a break once in a while though, don't worry. Allah is Kind =)

Regardless of our level of piety, we all have battles with our inner demons.
No one's perfect but that doesn't mean we won't learn from our mistakes. We can continue becoming a better person, that's for sure.

Now, with the western media through movies, tv shows, music and social medias, they will make LGBT seem interesting or a trend, who knows kan. I've been wondering how i'd explain to my kids when LGBT would be a norm since it's becoming so even now..
But all i have for now is: 
These people are struggling with their sexual orientation and identity, and all of us who don't have that to go through should be grateful. Allah tutupkan aib luaran kita, you know? We all sin differently. Fitnah is a sin, gossiping, lying, cheating, stealing, zina - just because there's no physical proof that anyone do them, doesn't mean they're non-existent. So who are we to judge? Instead, what we can do is pray to Allah to make it easy for them and give them the strength and hidayah.
That's really what we should pray for everyone.

It's not a good speech or whatever, i know heheee.
Oh well.

I wish you all the best, my dear readers.
We all have wrestling matches within us and that's where good company always help. =)
Our friends and families are usually our supporter, so if you can choose your company, choose well.
And may Allah give us victories in our fights, may He provide us good people, and help us on the road to Jannah.


*LGBT = lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender

Monday, April 11, 2016

Silent battles


I mentioned in a few blogpost ago that imma try blogging everyday but obviously that didn't happen..
It's because, on a daily basis, things that i do or go through is too personal to share. So now i think its best to update the blog in my usual basis; which is bila i rasa patut je. Baahhaha =p

Today's story is really something to me..

Semua orang ada 'battles'. Sama ada pasal pasangan hidup ke, pasal kerja & kerjaya, pasal anak, pasal penyakit, mental/physical/emotional problems, pasal kewangan, anything kan.

I have a friend yang ada penyakit SLE.
Dia ni, kalau orang luar tengok dia, memang TAKKAN langsung suspect dia ni sedang fighting an unseen battle.

Dia memang salah sorang manusia paling kuat i pernah jumpa. Muka senyum sokmo, takde nak complain, takde nak heboh heboh hal dia dan sakit sakit dia, tak pernah nak cite masa dia kena warded kat ICU la, operation bagai, takde nak cite pasal struggle dia nak mengandungkan dan melahirkan anak, takde murung murung, ajak orang menangis dengan dia secara berjemaah - tapi serious, bila dengar cite cite dia, i sendiri tak tau nak senyum ke nak nangis! Nak gelak, rasa cam tak betul.. Tapi kalau nangis, macam over pulak.
Tadi i tahan je air mata masa dia cite padahal muka dia relax je! Paham tak confius kita camane! Hahaha!

She had struggled so much but the best thing about her is - she doesn't give in to negativity.
She's like "Okay, i ada SLE but so what? Life still goes on and i want to live!".
Dia yang banyak gila ujian, tapi DIA PULAK MOTIVATE I!

"Maria! You boleh, you tau tak!"

I rasa macam nak lempang muka sendiri sebab kena uji sikit je dah fikir bukan bukan pastu nak give up.

So.. bila dah dengar her stories tadi, apart from feeling guilty, i felt so much admiration for her.
Here's a girl, whose life story can be one of the most best selling non-fiction movie/novel, 'Based on true story' kinda thing, and she's the most positive, strong and funny person i've ever known, AND she doesn't show it! She doesn't make people weep for her or feel sad for her. She's just.. Happy =)

How many of us really keep our battles silent? I pun tak terkecuali. Wuwuuwuuuuu..

Kat facebook, jangan cakap la. Cite sedih sedih je nak share, walaupun benda tu macam takde pape sangat. Pastu tibe2 jadi viral, pastu tukang keyboard warriors sume pun nak share masalah masalah diorang pastu compare sape punya kisah lagi teruk..

I really think the strongest people are the ones who doesn't talk about their struggles or pains. One of the reasons probably being because they don't see their ujians as some kind of punishment from Allah. They see it as something they have to go through, just like everyone else does.

Hebat betul mereka mereka cam ni =')

I hope that Allah SWT showers His Blessings and blesses her and her family with a bright and happy future filled with barakah. I hope too that Allah permudahkan segala urusan kawan I and her family. May Allah SWT jadikan anak dia anak yang solehah, yang berjaya dunia dan akhirat, menjadi pejuang agama yang membawa manfaat kepada ummah, menjadi anak yang menjaga ibubapanya dan membawa mereka ke Syurga Firdaus.


*I hope that i can be as strong as her too.. InshaAllah =)*

PS: Beb, if you read this and yes, it's about you, i love you so much tau. =')

Thursday, March 31, 2016

La Kayena's Space For Rent Murah


So aside from selling clothes (which now available on at Maleeqa Boutique in Kuantan, Pahang), i also am renting out a space!

I thought that kat Damansara area ni macam takde space for rent yang murah.
Macam.. Motif nak spend RM100 for a photoshoot of simple products kan?
Motif nak sewa tempat RM2000 an hour untuk buat workshop for 5 people, kan?
Nak buat workshop kat rumah, tapi ada lelaki (abang/ayah/suami) atau perempuan, so tak cmfortable la nak ajak orang datang.
Atau mungkin nak buat photoshoot baju simple simple, takkan nak suruh model tukar tukar baju kat tengah tengah dunia kan?

So that's how La Kayena's SPACE FOR RENT came about!
I wujudkan tempat ni untuk membantu entrepreneur/educator yang berdedikasi tapi nak save budget. Apa salahnya kan? Semua benda harga naik je keje, so at least tempat ni boleh tolong sedikit sebanyak.

It's only RM10 an hour.
RM 10!
Although, it is a small space - about 200sqft, which means it can fit about 15 people comfortably, but hey, it's RM10 an hour kot. =)
It's at Damansara Perdana (and no, it's not at Empire Damansara ya)
no heavy traffic around there, easy parking, siap boleh shopping groceries kalau dah settle keje sebab ada Jaya Grocer kat situ, banyak tempat makan around.

It has great Natural lighting!

Here are some pics of the space!

Furnitures are of course allowed to be moved around and props can be used.

I do encourage people to bring their own props and stuff, and also their camera equipments because i can't provide those. 

If interested, please send an email at

Ok? I will reply with more details =)

Hope this helps, people!

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

APOkah mungkin kita berjaya?


Watashiwa terkejut jugak bila dapat email pabila di-nominatekan sebagai calon pemenang Anugerah Pilihan Online. Shortform nya APO.

Boleh tengok website dia kat sini: APO 2016

The category is:

Dengan ini..
Persoalannya adalah..
Adakah aku layak berada di kategori ini bersama lelaki lelaka yang banyak gila followers dan supporters?

*Lap air mata dan hingus*

Gentle i cakap.. I don't know about this award things sebab selama i blogging or online-ing, i've never won anything from it. Nominated, yes, alhamdulillah. But that's the furthest it'll go.
And i don't mind!
I do what i do because i want to. It's basically not driven by any other outside influences like number of likes/shares/followers/etc. And the fact that there are people reading my blog and actually care about the things i share, it's a blessing! Not everyone has this opportunity.

So, without further ado, if you think i have benefitted in one way or another, i truly appreciate your vote =')

Cara caranya adalah:
1. Log masuk (guna fb/twitter/g+)
2. Isi details pastu click 'Hantar'
3. Cari kategori nombor 17: Selebriti Media Sosial Online
4. Calonkan semua dengan nama Maria Elena. Nyahaha!

Gelak malu sebenarnya.
I'm really awkward at these things. I mean, it's already awkward that i'm the only girl in this category.. Unless you count Faiz Dickie's multiple female personas. Haha!
But nonetheless, it is really really a huge honour.

So yeah.
Goooooo Maria! *high kicks and shakes pompoms*

ihiks =p

Monkey Cupcakes


Nadrah went to a "Field Trip" earlier today - they went to a cupcake workshop, which is so cool for kids her age to participate in.

Monkey cupcakes! I took that small bite. It tastes good!

I think that kids nowadays really have so much advantage at learning and i pray that they'll grow to be incredibly well rounded people. InshaAllah.

I actually put nadrah in her Montessori last year, when she wasn't officially 2 years old.
Orang kata kesian.
Kecik kecik dah masuk skolah.

Eva & Nadrah

I masukkan dia in the same school as her cousin, Eva, who's a year older than her.
They're like BFFs, like sisters; bila jauh rindu, bila dekat gaduh.
I put her in the same school because my cousin pun said the school is good.

Alhamdulillah nadrah is a quick learner, in terms of talking la. And the only reason i put her in a school at that young of age is because i know she'll learn so much more than i can offer.
I'm really not the creative type, so things like colouring, painting, doing diy stuff.. no matter how hard i try, i just have little patience for them.
I can play pretend or play toys with her. So, my idea was, let her play, sharpen her abilities and improve her social skills at school, then i will continue with others, like doing chores, and correcting her adab.

There was this one period when i rasa kesian la nak bawak dia skolah, so i don't force her to wake up and let her skip school. Well, it turns out that we became unproductive. She slept through the morning while i clean the house, and then when i want to rest, she wakes up and demands stuff. So we both become pissy and i just get more and more tired as the day goes by.
Because i get tired, i malas nak layan dia, so i let her watch the tv.
And then we both became zombies.
What a way to spend our day, right. (Not.)

Those were the days when parents can let their children out of the house and play with the neighbours at the playground..
Alhamdulillah i had that.. But this zaman?
The playgrounds are often a hotel for stray dogs, the parks and even the neighbourhood isn't so safe anymore, and now, it's the heat.
Terlepas pandang sekejap je, macam macam boleh jadi.

So yeah. Pergi skolah nadrah.
You get to play at the playground with your friends, you get to do painting with your friends, you learn how to share, you learn how to make cupcakes with your friends, and so so much more!
Her artworks which i tape on the wall coz she kept misplacing them, and she plays with them once in a while.

It's only for 4 hours a day, but it's enough time for nadrah to be at school.
And to be honest, the first time i sent nadrah to that school, i wasn't emotional ke apa pun.
I was actually worried for the teachers.

One day, one of the teachers told nadrah to get inside the school (they were playing at the playground in the school's garden), and nadrah said "No, you go inside!".
Even the headmistress kept telling me how 'strong-willed' nadrah is.
Coz she really is. That, and fearless.
Oh well. Alhamdulillah she's happy anyway =)

Not saying that everyone should masukkan their kids skolah ASAP, coz seriously, if you can do it yourself, you should and i'm not recommending anything. I'm just sharing my choices in parenting.
There's no "My Way is The Best Way" here.
Strictly "I Am Doing My Best To Provide The Best For My Child(ren)" ONLY.

Here's to well rounded kids! Hehe!

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Say "Peace" is all.


I've been reading this book about making and breaking habits (though i won't recommend it to people this particular book, only because i think the writer is... not so successful at her own experiments. There's nothing wrong with that. Except it makes me not take her seriously. ANYWAY.)

I've been reading this book, and i thought of making new habits to replace old nonbeneficial ones, like scrolling through my phone, wondering what i should do.
Instead of just flipping the homescreen searching for something interesting to look for, i thought that i should blog more. Try....daily? Ehehehhh.. InshaAllah, daily posts. I CAN DO DIZ!

So here's what i really want to share.

I was reading my Quran translation book when i saw this ayat:

[We know the Prophet's words], "My Lord, truly these are people who do not believe,"

so turn away from them and say "Peace": they will come to know.

Surah Al-Zukhruf, ayat 88-89.

Cool gila.

Once upon a time, i felt the need to make people closest to me to change with me.
So selfish of me. It's just that, at that time, i wanted them to not be how i used to be - ignorant and arrogant, thinking i know everything that needs to be known. But then, what i thought was dakwah, was actually me pestering them and unintentionally belittle them.

Preaching/dakwah really really requires knowledge in psychology. It's like being a salesman that doesn't make a customer rimas, but makes them want to come back for more. Ha. Amacam. Haha!

When it comes to preaching, i really think that it should start with us.
We preach to ourselves first and foremost.

I remember a saying something like "what you don't like in others reflects what you are".
Basically, if i don't like a person who brags, that means i brag too. Something like that la.
Cermin diri sendiri dulu sebelum tegur. Nak tegur boleh. Serious boleh. Tapi kena ada kesedaran yang kita pun kekurangan.
Contohnya: si A tak suka si B sebab dia eksyen, suka share gambar barang kemas dia kat instagram. Pastu si A nak tegur si B. Tapi dia selidik diri dulu, kot kot dia ni pun eksyen. Tengok tengok dia ada la gak eksyen, tapi dalam bentuk lain. Suka eksyen pasal anak ke, etc. Dengan kesedaran si A yang dia ni pun ada penyakit hati, dia tegur si B, tapi dengan cara yang boleh si A & si B terima.
Means, tegur others like how you want to be ditegur.

Make sense kan?

Ok, so back to the ayat atas tadi.
Let's say even with the knowledge of our flaws and our efforts to change ourselves, or let's say we've succeeded in changing ourselves, then we share that knowledge with someone close with much tact and mannerism, ikhlas and respect, sebaik-baiknya lah!
Unfortunately, that person did not respond well. Either they held a grudge on us or leave us completely, all we have to do is turn away and say "Peace", because believe me, they will come to know.

Allah's timing is always right, for everyone. We do not need to pressure or stress out if a person doesn't change or accept advice immediately.
InshaAllah - everything is with Allah's permission kan.

So, peace je.


Friday, March 25, 2016

Mom with a project


I always find it challenging to answer this question:
"What do you do?"

Well, i'm a mom, a wife, and i'm home most of the time. Sometimes, yes, i do go out to the tailor to sort out my samples and whatever project i plan to sell, i also go groceries shopping, sometimes take nadrah out somewhere so that she can play after her school, i also read, watch tv, cook, clean, sometimes i blog, sometimes i instagram. So yeah.

What do i do?
By 8pm, my battery level is often low and everytime my husband asks me what i did for the day, i always answer:
"Oh, the usual. Clean, go *settle something*, *did something with mom*, then masak."
Doesn't sound so impressive, but seriously, it feels like a lot.
Some days, my muscles get all sore and my pregnant belly gets all tight sampai semput gila.

I guess from another person's point of view, my "job" really is just chilling at home, having fun with my child, smiling blissfully, and the house is always clean. Reality is, i'm always tired, on not so good days, i don't even want to be near Nadrah (when she's in those tantrum-nothing-is-right-mood or i'm too tired from doing chores), my eyes are like panda's, and the house is always a mess, no matter how many times i clean it.

Though, to be honest, i use my time trying to learn more about myself and people because i want to equip myself with as much knowledge as i can for my own contentment and for the sake of my children's future.

It's a different era now. People can get straight A's for exams but still couldn't land a place in universities of their choice. People can have impressive resume but unable to pass interviews. People can be so highly educated but have no manners and no sense of responsibility.

Therefore, to change the future, i have to start with myself.
I've been reconditioning myself, getting out of my "auto-pilot" mode, and really do things with knowledge, not habit. It hasn't been easy because we all tend to be blind when it comes to our own weaknesses.

So what i do is, i gather all the things i remember about how i have been with these two groups:
1. Close friends and families
2. Strangers

Just to be clear, this process has started about 2 years ago. Lama kan? Bahahaa

Naturally, i've been saying, acting and reacting differently with the 2 groups.
For example, i go all angelic to strangers when they ask for advice. I would go all out on research for hadiths/ayat Quran to help people, and would even hurry to aid others.
But with my close friends and families, i'll be like "ala, chill la!", because part of me don't want to scare them away with my deepquotes or whatever, and they know me well enough that if i do say deepquotes and stuff to them, they'll be like "he eleh, takyah bajet sangat boleh tak? We know how you really are"-kinda-thing.

I've met some people that were like this too. Upon seeing it, i didn't like it, that's why i decided to do something about it. I want to be real, like really me, to the point that i can say, act and react the same way to both groups.
Alhamdulillah, so far so good. I can be myself to everyone, even families, that it isn't awkward anymore when i go all psychological or religious. I have learnt to analyse a person (not expertly though) to know what kind of things i should say or do with them, instead of main hantam je cakap.

It's easier to be that better person and then lead through example instead of pretending or just keeping up appearances.
My own pursuit of 'happy'ness is to be content and find happiness doing normal routine stuff, doing them all with ikhlas lillahi taala, and try to be a better version of myself. When i'm happy, then inshaAllah my family's happy. When they're happy, they make others happy.
You know, the Ripple Effect.

The changes and positivity in one person could affect an entire generation.
I really do want what's best for the future generations. InshaAllah.

So now, how do i answer the old golden question:
"What do you do?"

How's this:
"I'm a mom and uhhh... yeah. I'm a mom with a project."

Then there's this question:
"oh yeah? What project?"

My answer:
Ok just kidding.
"Oh the usual. Clean, learning and preparing for the unpredictable future, taking care of my child(ren) and family. You know."


Oh well.

Throwback of me & nadrah at the bird park =)