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Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Learning is a Lifelong Strive

 I admit, there were times i don't want to watch or hear anything religious/spiritual, mostly about practices because it could confuse me and then i have to research more and find out the truth before really practice it myself 😖

Some ustaz/ustazah says this thing can do, some say this thing must not do. And then there's: baca doa ni, baca doa tu, do this 100 times a day, do this everytime you do blablabla.. 

I am lazy too and that's why i sometimes don't want to watch all this stuff, so that i can remain ignorant and if i were asked, i could say "Ye ke? 😯".

But that's the worst answer isn't it..

I imagine kalau Allah tanya "Why didn't you repair your makhraj and tajweed when you're reciting the Quran? When you're calling Me? When you pray to Me? What if i called you Maeheohh because i didn't even bother to find out how to pronounce your name properly despite having so much opportunity, resources to do so?"

Sedih kan..

Pastu nak jawab apa? What can i answer to that? "Umm because.. I thought i was doing enough".

Tak rasa nak lempang diri sendiri ke? To our own Creator pun i can have the audacity to feign ignorance and be arrogant. The time that we're given are all the same, 24 hours a day, yet i can't even spend some of that time, sacrifice my 'zombie' time to do something for the sake of The One who gave me this comfortable life.

And this is how i force myself out of that lazy rut.

I will imagine my conversation with Allah and His questions about why i'm not doing what i'm supposed to do.. It shames me and it moves me to try la and do something about it.

Even if it's one tajweed a day, a slower pace for solat to make sure i read the right things and not rap it out. My formal islamic education stopped after form 5, 17 years old and yet how can i be so confident that i remembered exactly what i've learnt in school? How can i accept that that is all i needed to know, that i've learnt enough? That there are different and more approaches to our practices. There are sunnahs too.

Padahal my arwah grandma even in her 80s was still learning the Quran eventhough she wasn't healthy and couldn't remember well. She had the TV on, watched Astro Oasis and just absorb whatever she could. 

random pic from my gallery...

I'm sharing this because perhaps you're like me..

Perhaps you see yourself in my own lacking.

But we have time and like i said, opportunities and resources at our fingertips. We can do better, even if it's only a milimeter than yesterday.

Have a better understanding of the Quran, to correctly articulate the words of the Quran, to improve the quality of our ibadah. And yeah, maybe we can add zikir at the end of our solat. Tak sampai seminit pun. 

There's just so much to learn!

As tiring as it may seem, Allah loves those who seeks knowledge. If it's a struggle, that's even better! Kalau kita pun appreciate our loved ones struggling to make us happy, or plan our birthday party, ni pulak kita struggle to please Allah! Wahh...

The ultimate goal is, taknak malu depan Allah and masuk Syurga. Take one thing to focus on at a time and trust that Allah will guide us when we're confused and lost.

InshaAllah 💖

Learning is a lifelong strive and may we be rewarded multifold for our efforts 💪 May Allah make it easy for us to seek knowledge, to remember and to practice what we've learnt. May Allah bless us, give us hidayah, His guidance, sustenance and reward us dunia and akhirat. May we always be motivated to bring ourselves closer to Him, to worship Him, to please Him. May our deeds and intentions be sincerely for the sake of Allah. 


Selamat Berpuasa!

ps: kalau i ada kekhilafan, mistakes, please correct me? =') 


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