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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Dramatique Queen

 I've been a girl all my life, so when i tell you this is a thing, trust me.

Here's a backstory.

My daughter has this pattern, where she will play with her brother, and then they will start to fight, and then she will cry. This has happened so many times, which is why i see it as a pattern. The timing too. It always happen around dinner time.

So what made me want to share about this? Since my husband actually asked me about it.

"Girls memang something something something ek?" = he was asking if it's normal for girls to be dramatic. 

I mean, i get it. My husband's social circle, his close people, are mostly men. My daughter & I are the only close female specimens he has. With that little data, of course in his view is that girls tend to be dramatic. Honestly though, I don't see him getting dramatic when he's tired or hungry. Yes, he does have his cues but it was not to the point that everyone is affected by it. My daughter pulak, it's like she needs everyone to know that she is upset and sad. 

The thing is, yes. We girls do get dramatic.

And why?

Because we want attention.

*You got me looking for attentiooooooonnnnn~~ you got me looking for attentiooooooonnn~*

/Attention by New Jeans/

I told him that, yes, girls become dramatic coz when we ask for attention, like going out on dates or sit and watch something together, or simple things couple could do, but the men ignores it, does it wrongly or maybe not give enough to satisfy their ladies' attention needs. Mana tak kita marah kan?

In my case, i try not to be dramatic because i hate fighting. I will always be a loser if i fight, so i try to let it slide. But i can't just halalkan my anger!? What injustice is that if i can't voice out my dissatisfaction and he will never know about it?!? It doesn't just vaporise, as if it never happened! So, unintentionally, not on purpose, my actions will be 'noisy'. That's how my dramatic-ness comes about.

I don't think any women think "Ok, let's make him mad so that he will talk to me and look at me at least! Yay!". Maybe ada la kot, who knows. But like i said, as a girl myself, the dissatisfaction tu will bubble up and explode. And everyone explodes differently. 

Perhaps some go get attention from their social circle, workplace, maybe from strangers too, and there are people who gets into hobbies, celebrities (fangirling), and other form of activities to divert their need of attention from others into paying attention to others. Ha gitu. 

I was talking in the perspective of couples. For our children pulak, they want attention too from parents or people around them. When they're bored or cranky, they get to a point where they overstimulate their current emotions and then they explode.

When we, parents, get mad, we look at them, pay attention to them and talk directly to them about them. In a way, the process of kena pujuk tu sedap la lepas dah kena marah kan. Sape tak suka kena pujuk? Huhu..

Basically, girls get dramatic because we want a little bit of attention. Tak banyak pun, i promise. We want someone to reach out to us and watch anime with us without asking so much questions or maybe just acknowledge how good we look, how nice our cooking was, how clean our room is, and so forth and so forth. At any age this is applicable. Serious. 

Girls need some esteem boost just as guys do. 

So guys, words have lasting effect. You don't have to buy flowers or gifts, but simple conversations is enough. With eye contact. And puji memuji. Ok?

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