Friendless, am i?

 Actually... i have friends.

I believe we all do even when we say we don't.

It's easier to answer questions that way. 

"Tak pegi mana2 ke weekend ni?"

"Ummi, why don't you see your friends?"

I mean, i could. We all could. And when i say 'we', i mean women. 

I can't really ask my friends to come teman me makan lunch, or go hang out somewhere, or go watch a movie coz we're all at the stage in life where our family, career, ourself matters comes first.

In my instance, my kids are in school, my time is heavily influenced by their 'schedule', and frankly, any free time i get is not enough time to 'chill'. It'll be like a touch n' go thing and that's no fun. Alhamdulillah though that i am a housewife, so my time is flexible. I know lots of women who are busting their necks with work & family.And i understand that my friends are also going through life stuff and all i can do is just pray for them and be there when they need me. 

Part of the package of me being a housewife is loneliness and lack of adult conversation, but i've come to terms with it long time ago. I like the pros that they outweigh the cons. However, it could probably just me though, sebab i ni tend to overthink about talking to people which turns into not talking at all. 

So it's easier to say that i don't have friends rather than explaining why i'm not with them. I tell this to my kids too so that they know that no stranger will pick them up and say they're my friend. 

That said, the other day my friend and i planned to go and have a breakfast date. I told my husband about it, and he looked at me with such earnest, pure look on his face and said:

"Good for you, yang! I'm genuinely happy for you!"😃😄😘

With a huge smile on his face. It was so pure, i could literally feel it that i almost felt emotional. 

"I'm happy for me too", i said sambil tahan sebak.

But after a while... i was like... wow. I must've been quite deprived of friend interaction to the point that my husband reacted that way 😂 

I'll... try to improve. I guess? 😬