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Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Jealousy turning saints into the sea

 So many things had happened since last week.

My son's birthday(s), my friend's passing, and lots of kids fighting.

My kids are big enough that they would physically hurt each other when fighting and it's driving me b.a.n.a.n.a.s.

It's BANANAS! B, A, N, A, N, A, S!

Someone started it, someone can't wait, someone don't want to play, aigoooooo!

Part of me wants them to just fight it out and solve their own problems, but they're kids. They don't know their limits.

One is bigger than the other, and non the wiser when it comes to strength exertion. And then, in order to protect the small-self, a weapon will be used. Thus creating a bigger havoc and precious and innocent things will be sacrificed.

Queen mother does not have it. Thus queen mother will act upon what she sees is justified. 

Anyway, last week was my son's birthday and it was his first ever birthday with everyone. He did not have the opportunity like his sister did to have parties because of covid, so this year, we just wanted to make it special for him. We had a small family dinner (with a small cake), a home dinner with my side of the family (with cake), and last weekend, with my husband's side of the family (with cake too)! And this coming weekend... another party... with his cousins and friends. Yes! With cake!

So imagine being an elder sister of such fortunate brother. Eventhough my daughter had had her birthday celebrated so largely many times before, she couldn't help but feel jealous of her younger sibling.

I can imagine it, i can emphatise but i can't encourage it. Husband and i had to sit her down after her jealous attempts to ruin her brother's birthday(s), and repetitively remind her that he never celebrated his birthday properly for the past few years. "So let him enjoy it for a while", we said.

But hearts are hard to control. Emotions aren't easily changed. Even more harder for kids. 

And like i said, they are already big enough that they fight physically, AND ALSO, clever enough to fight out of my sight so that i don't know who started it and how they hurt each other.

I honestly hope that their teenage years will be easier for me to handle and that their hearts, by then, inshaAllah, will be more softer.

Since it's school days now, one of these days, husband and i will take our daughter for a "Bonding Healing Time". To neutralise her. 

Maybe you'd think we haven't given her enough attention and that's why she went on a jealous frenzy, but the truth is we did try to pay more attention to her. In fact, my son only got his due attention during the birthday song-singing, candle blowing and cake cutting time. Other than that, he's usually just doing whatever he be doing, as usual. But sister doesn't see it that way.

Jealousy turning saints into the sea, amirite? (reference to Mr Brightside by The Killers)

Oh well.

Hope that this jealous, fighting phase just end coz i don't know what i'm doing most of the time... i mean, i don't know how to be the judge, because they do it behind my back, and i try to be as fair as possible, but i don't knowwwwww!

I just pray that Allah will help me when educating my kids, being fair, protecting and providing for them.

Tu je.

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