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Thursday, December 2, 2021

Pilih Bulu dalam Keikhlasan

Life is so... life.

We can never know what happens in the future, even mere seconds from now.
So many people lost their loved ones unexpectedly, in unexpected ways, and maybe, someday, wallahualam, that will be me losing someone or i'm the one lost.
But the thing is, i know death is unavoidable, and i want to prepare as much as i can for it, but i am still lacking in so much.

I know i need to solat with sincerity, khusyuk, tapi i even question myself, did i really solat because i was scared of Allah, because i love Allah, thankful etc, or is it just becoming a habit that i solat just because it's like a chore that i need to fulfill daily?

Once upon a time, my husband actually told me that he can taste if i cooked dengan ikhlas ke tak.
First time hearing that, i was so pissed!
Like, pende lak masak tak ikhlas?? Punya la aku pulun potong itu ini, sampai terpotong jari la, pastu mata sakit potong bawang, peluh peluh ketung ketang kat dapur tu kan! How can he "rasa tak ikhlas" lak??

Until one day, we went to eat at a restaurant and i had something (i don't remember), but i said to my husband that i think the makcik masak ni masak tak ikhlas. Sebab bawang, serai etc sume macam tak tumis betul-betul, rasa pun macam ala kadar je. 

And so, yes, i terasa sepakan itu sendiri.

Since then, even i noticed when i masak ikhlas ke tak. Bila takde mood atau penat sangat, my cooking memang macam main hantam je asalkan ada rasa. But nowadays, bila i penat ke apa, i just tell hubs and maybe we'd go out for dinner or order je.

Kalau makanan pun kita boleh rasa keikhlasan... I bet our keikhlasan dalam solat, dalam sedeqah, dalam anything good we want to do and make, mesti Allah pun dapat "rasa". 

This blogpost is actually a reminder to myself and whoever reads it to remind ourselves that we can be ikhlas in our ibadah just as how we are ikhlas in serving people (family, friends, boss etc).
Let's not pilih bulu when it comes to sincerity (just because kita tau Allah Maha Pengampun, and maybe because we don't see Him... taking Him for granted that He is always there with us..)
And let's do our best.
As i remember, Allah SWT does not want perfection from us, but He loves that we progress and continue to do our best.


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