hey baby, ngorat boleh?

assalamualaikum peliks!

truth be told, it has been a while since i've been personal with my blog.
been doing reviews a lot..

and truth be told, i am pregnant!

say say say whaaaaaaat??

oui! alhamdulillah i am pregnant!

dah a few months dah actually =p

it was a very... challenging first trimester.

hmmm nak story ke tak. 

...................................

story la sikit. 

ehem.

ok so i imagine the experience back from a third persons' view and it looks funny but the experience on me, it was soooooooooo harrrrdddd!!!

1. i had to eat all the time. i must have biscuits with me at all times. hunger will cause me to vomit.

2. i couldn't read. reading made me dizzy. dizziness made me vomit.

3. i couldn't stay vertical for more than a few minutes. sitting or standing for too long made me vomit.

4. i could only eat seciput nasi and 1 jenis lauk. watching others eat made me wanna vomit. having too much on my plate made me wanna vomit. eating too much made me vomit.

5. i couldn't drive. driving made me dizzy. refer to no. 2.

6. i have to be in a quiet place. noise made me dizzy. refer to no. 2.

oh the list goes on.

so as you can imagine, i was bed bound for the longest time, for the first time!

i ni dah la memang jenis takleh duduk diam. i was a workaholic.

i jenis yang memang kena buat something. free time means opportunity-looking time.

oh ya. i'm not working anymore as an engineer. i'm working on a project which i hope will be successful when it's done. in sha Allah.

and i'm still studying heee.. tak sabar nak habis!!! aaahhhhhh!!!

ok back to being bed bound.

i had accepted to do some product reviews (before i knew i was pregnant) kan... tapi body tak larat... i pernah sakit hati sangat sebab my body tak boleh nak cooperate with me, sampai i nanes nanes..

i told my hubby about it of course, and he was being very supportive cakap i can do it, and i have to do it sebab rezeki, blablabla, pastu i marah dia lak.

hahaahahahahahahaha!

i cakap "u cakap macam senang je! cuba you pregnant!"

emo gila =p

biasa la orang pregnant kan. hormone and feelings macam gila sket. off-tune.

yang kelakar nya, i can get easily emotional by songs.

i heard lagu Yuna - Lelaki.

kan dia nya chorus, it goes "lelaki tak guuuuuuuuuuuuuuna, etc etc"

i loved the song, but the song made me so emotional, bukan setakat emo je, tapi nangis nangis and geram nya emo tuuhhh! sampai i muntah and pening pening, and every man yang i rasa tak guns sume goes through my mind and the 'tak puas hati' feeling tu stayed on sampai i lupa lagu tu ok!!!

sakit pale tul. even PRU made me sick!

and then, there's me being on my own with nothing to do. body and mind nak rest tapi jiwaku perlukan fresh air, perlukan jalan jalan, tapi apo nak buek.

i even had plans for my semester break. i wanted to go bungy jumping and skydiving, roller coaster riding, knee boarding, and more, tapi again. apo nak buek. tunggu baby keluar, and then i ajak dia buat skali with me. nyehehehehee =p

so being on my own was tougher than i thought. i was tired all the time.
but for the first time, i was able to rest all day!
i think for years, i have very seldom had real rest.
rest pun boleh online lagi. dulu la.

but this time, i was really resting. all my gadgets i letak tepi. (i hated my phone =p sebab it always rings. ada je keje kena buat. i ignored a lot.. huhu..)
and rasa best pulak. just chilling and talking to my baby. and just picturing of what i will do when the baby arrives.

there are times (present tense ya) when people remind me of things i wanted to do but couldn't (due to pregnancy opkos), it wasn't easy to.. accept? is that the word? ha camtu la.
it wasn't easy, but i know Allah is the best of Planners, and He planned this for me and my family.
there has to be a reason why He chose me to carry a child now kan =)

keredhaan & keikhlasan has been said to be the 2 hardest feelings to summon when we're not emotionally stable.

so apo nak buek? tunggu emosi stable la pastu panggil la itu perasaan! hehee!

i think for now cukup la i nak berkarang pasai pregnancy ni.
ponek pulak. heheee =p

hope you all can forgive me for my carelessness when i blog these days. i can't always jaga your hati, therefore, i ask for your cooperation to at least be tactful with mine =)
kalau request ni macam berat sebelah, alamak, sorry la ya!

to all experienced mothers, i'd love to hear your advices!! and you're so awesome! sebab now i know what it's like to be pregnant, and most of you have done so much better than me!
SALUTE!! RESPECT!!
may Allah reward you for your strength and patience! =D

ok la itu je =)

salam!

ps: thanks for reading this super long post! love you lillahi!