5 October in 2021

 How could it have been over a year since my last blogpost?

Ohmaigeorge.

It has been a long time since the kids have physically been to school or even meet their friends. Kesian diorang..

Eventhough now more and more people are getting vaccinated, it still didn't rule out the infections on the kids. I'm worried for them, but the way things are, the kids are ok je sebenarnya. At home, i mean.

Maybe, no, not maybe, it is because whenever i recall my childhood memories, i always ended up pitying my children for their lack of.. experiences, and adventures.

I kept comparing to the time when i was their age. I was able to cycle around, meet my friends at school and after school, i was living an active and social lifestyle and hardly at home before maghrib.

Tapi diorang pulak, kat rumah je. Duduk depan tv je. Nak keluar, kena pakai mask and etc etc.

But then, when i think about it, this is their time. This is their childhood experience and it might not be as bad as i thought. They're going through it, and i should just let them be and help their growth and grow on to being tech savvier than me. Huahuahua =p

Alhamdulillah la kita ada the means to buy games for them, so they've been playing minecraft, little big planet, and also they've been playing with their toys which had been forsaken for some time! That part is joyous to me but also some kind of nightmare because cleaning up was not easy. Just when i thought i had cleaned up the house, suddenly they're flipping the living room upside down before i could mop the house. Or like stepping on phantom lego, or finding so many treasures under the sofa bantals. And me being the person who likes to lay down on the sofa, it was super duper annoying to be bitten by ants or feeling some hard stuff at my back. Yes, those treasures were crumbs of some snacks they had had, and/or toys they pushed in between the bantals sebab i don't know, malas kot nak letak dalam toy box.

Wahduh wahduh.

But oh well. 

Husband and i also had rearranged and reorganised our house so that we have more open spaces not only for the kids to play their toys, but also for them to ride their scooter around the house, fighting with each other, and for me to exercise. Oh, i had gained so much weight since i could remember and i hit my all time heavy earlier this year. I won't disclose how heavy i was because i wasn't sure myself (i didn't have a weight scale then), but the biggest telltale was how much my clothes stretched across my body.

I don't know why, but i didn't really mind about that part but what made me determined to start changing myself (physically, because i think my inner self is the same as usual) was how much it had hurt to sujud. The stomach pressed up my lungs? heart? so masa solat tu boleh tercungap-cungap. If that wasn't enough to tell me to how unhealthy i was, not only because of the clothes, but because of my lack of strength too, i don't know what will.

I've just been doing home exercises though. And so far, alhamdulillah, i've made progress but i also have so many confusions.

Since i was trying to live a more sustainably healthy lifestyle, i had been watching youtube videos and reading articles about how to keep healthy.

Unfortunately, the more i learn, the more i get annoyed at how people's "educated opinion" and "experts" and "practitioners" all have clashing stuff they feel the need to share. I don't know which is real anymore.

For example, i have been taking supplements albeit on and off, and usually it's evening primrose, fish oil and vitamin B. Honestly, i don't remember why i'm taking vitamin B. The pharmacist i met years ago recommended that i take it. Is it because of my lack of energy? Entah lah.

Anyway, i have been taking just those once in a while when i feel like 'oh hari ni macam kena buat banyak benda, maka mari amik supplement', or when i feel my skin feels extra dry and my brain sluggish.

AND THEN, i saw videos of people saying fish oil is not gonna help at all, evening primrose can cause fibroid, and whatever else, i can't recall. And how like eating nasi and bread makes you not able to lose belly fat, this thing is 500cals, that thing is 1000cals, blahblahblah.

So i had taken the initiative to stop watching or learning more about weight loss stuff and just take what i already know and focus on that.

It's quite annoying really, and frankly, demotivating. Because just when i thought i found the right stuff for me, turns out it isn't, so i have to find a different solution. You know? The trials and errors of it all.. Finding what method and what lifestyle works for me..

Yes, i am that lazy. But as lazy as i am, i try to stay away from being unrealistic and shortcuts.

Haihs. SO, here i am.

Sitting at our dining table making this blogpost, while telling my kids for the umpteenth time to go mandi eventhough it is 11am already, and they just had their online classes and already in the process of flipping the living room upside down, and me telling them over and over again to clean up because i want to mop the floor. And them fighting with each other about who's going to mandi first, while playing with the toys.

And me just trying to not get my temper hit the roof so early in the morning. Because nadrah has homework she doesn't want to do and isaac keeps taking things out of the toybox.

Oh and me wondering what i should make for lunch and the muffin i bought yesterday. When am i gonna eat it?

So that's the update i have so far with my life. Nothing eventful really.

I do miss going around freely, i miss my in-laws too (lama tak jumpa and tak makan makanan ibu.. air tangan ibu tu ha, masyukk), and i miss seeing my kids off to school huahuahuahua =p

Btw, it has been equally as long kot that i haven't been on instagram. Which made me realise that i am one lonely chick. Cue music!

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (Woo)
Lonely (I'm a lonely chic)
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Lonely (Supalonely)

- Supalonely by Benee

Yes, i am supalonely. *cries with a smile**thumbs up*

Ok dah la. Bye.