Tuesday, March 7, 2017

#Ummitips: How to handle the "Terrible Two" phase

Haritu ada orang tanya i how i handle Nadrah at her "terrible two" phase...


Assalamualaikum!


Bahahahaa!
Nangis sebab kelakar tapi sebenarnya tak kelakar langsung sebab Nadrah bukan setakat "terrible two", she also had "terrible three"!

It's a very common phenomenon among toddlers to have this so-called-phases, because it is part of their growth. Emotionally and psychologically.

This phase is where they could not understand their sudden burst of feelings.
For example, they don't know they're feeling frustrated, disappointed, excited, confused, and all those big emotions.
They just know angry, sad, happy, hungry, sleepy, you know, the super basic stuff.

Pernah tak, your child tengah super excited about something, and then suddenly dia meragam buang tantrum?
Yeah.
I had gone through those times hahaha!

At first, memang i sakit hati la. Kita nak happy happy, tiba tiba dia nak meragam pulak. Pasal the smallest things lak tu!
That's why i memang avoid going to crowded places, because i knew i wouldn't be able to enjoy myself, and Nadrah would be throwing tantrums and stuff.
It's been yearsssss! This year baru i rasa dia ok sikit. Controllable.

So what's the secret?

1. PATIENCE.

Like, omg, that is soooo basic. I hear you. It is basic.
Nadrah losing it at Pompeii.

Also,

2. EMPATHY.

We gotta think like them. Understand them. I really struggled through it at first, but when i can, i try to think about what my kid is going through. When i know she'll get upset over small things when she's excited, i don't get her excited.
Like the time when we took her to the Farm in the City. We didn't tell her we were going to see animals, until we were IN the farm.
Serious!

We don't tell her things ahead of time because this little being have no patience. She'll pester on and on and on until she herself get disappointed and that'll ruin her mood when the time has come.

But then, maybe it's them being hungry or sleepy or both. Just gotta try and error la.

Now this trick, my husband did it and it worked.

3. WHISPER IN THEIR EAR WHEN THEY'RE THROWING A FIT.

Many times when Nadrah was screaming and stuff, my husband just hug her, and whisper in her ear. She just quiets down for a while because she got confused and she's curious.
One time, Nadrah was crying like crazy because she wanted to watch Hi5 and then my husband just kneeled in front of her, hugged her, and whispered something in her ear. Suddenly, she started laughing!
Know what my husband whispered?

"....no..."

Hahahaha! Even i laughed! The pause, and the curt 'no' was just enough to break Nadrah's pattern. So i pun adapt to that (when i can).

Me gossiping with Nadrah hahaha

Compared to my husband, i am less patient, so i'm glad he's able to take over Nadrah's entahpape-ness.

Sometimes though, when you can't deal with the tantrum,

4. IGNORE.

Distract yourself with something else for 5 minutes. Just to make you calm down, just to make your mind get in the right state, because i tell ya, this tantrum thing, if it gets to you, who knows what your anger would do! So, dari membahayakan diri dan orang sekeliling, chill. Take it.
My chill 'pill' is watching funny videos on instagram. It's short, funny, and just enough to get me back in the right state of mind.

And you know, if you really really can't deal with their tantrum, i'm sorry for suggesting this, but

5. GIVE THEM SOME "DISTRACTIONS".

Like watching something on Youtube kids (it's an app. get it. filter it.), or tv, or let them play with something of yours that they really want (but you didn't let them). Letting them watch something on tv or ipad or phone, does not make you a bad parent. Serious. We all understand! It's a different generation now, a different species of brain i tell ya. They're more intelligent, kan!
But of course, don't let them watch it for too long.

I used to tell Nadrah when she threw her tantrum,
"When you stop crying, i will let you watch peppa pig"

And she will. And then when she watches, i will strictly tell her that she can watch 1 or 2 shows. After that, she needs my permission.

Until now she asks for my permission when she wants to watch something bahahahhaa!
Good. You better. I'm watching you nadrah, even when i'm not looking.

Tau takut.

I also have this makeup brushes that i got which has cute flowers on it and Nadrah really wanted it. I don't mind her playing with it pun actually 'cause it's cheap ones, but i didn't. I only let her play with it when she got into her mood. It made her soooooo thankful and curious, that she stopped whatever she was doing and focused on playing with my brushes. You should have that "secret weapon" too!

I know some of you are too tired to take your kids out. But really,

6. TAKE YOUR KIDS OUT TO THE PARK/PLAYGROUND/SWIMMING POOL

..because i saw a lot of changes when Nadrah started going to the playground or swimming pool everyday. We live in a condominium, so she knows lots of kids here. Somehow the kids playing together (eventhough it will end up with someone crying or getting angry), it made her more tolerant at home. Maybe all that bottled up emotions just flew away when they're playing...
Maybe la, i'm not sure.
Just try anyway. Maybe just outside your house pun boleh la. Main rumput ke.. I don't know! Haha! You can find some stuff on toddler activities on Pinterest. Try check that out!

I think tu je kot for now.
I'm hoping that Isaac is tolerable when he gets to this phase. Perhaps i'd have to read this back! Bahaha!

Clearly unimpressed..

At the end of the day, it's annoying when we let it get to us.
This is something important:
When it starts to annoy me, i try to change how i see it. If i'm not in the mood to change my state, then i tell her to go to her dad.

Bahahaha!
Me, trying hard not to show my tears inside my heart. And nadrah with her overly pink lips because it was dry.



Hope this helps you mommies handle your child at this age!
Don't worry, it doesn't last forever!! Just, quite a while la. Hehe!

Sabar yeee!


*all pics were from our Pompeii visit in 2015. hoho.. menyesal pergi tanpa suami. seksa sorang sorang. hahaha!







8 comments:

dorsett pink said...

good mommyhood tips.. tq maria

Mrs Pip said...

tips yang bagus ni ...
saya pun suck juga nak tahan sabar dgn karenah anak terrible two,
i guess i'm not a good mommy ...

BudakVanilla said...

comel je nadrah :D

KhanhTrinh said...


This phase is where they could not understand their sudden burst of feelings.
For example, they don't know they're feeling frustrated, disappointed, excited, confused, and all those big emotions.
Good

Zizie Zack said...

hi kak maria, dah lama xbaca blog kak maria.. hee :D

Hayati M Y said...

Good oness Maria, then the second child pon akan ada another tantrum to handle! aiyoyo.. but my second child was a girl.. mengadaaaa.. takleh la nampak kita, melintas pn kene macam lipas kudung laju gitu.. kalau tak, start la hulur tangan mintak angkatt. and sometimes kita rasa malasnyaa nak layan.. dah la tengah busy kerja rumah. especially memasak lah.. aduihai. tahankan telinga je dengar dia menangis menjerit tu.. later on, i'l try the 3rd step tu.. sebab abang ni memang la takleh tengok adik tengah berbahagia T_T'

but like you said.. diorang bukan selamanya macamni kan.
:'D

Kak Nab said...

cute nadrah. tips yang best

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