I have an introvert brother, and i thought that that would make me understand what an introvert is.
Boy, was i wrong!
Being married to an introvert is certainly an adventure.
Me, the super emotional one vs my husband, the introvert and basically heartless one.
*he's not exactly heartless, but he doesn't delve into emotions like normal person would. Bahahaha!*
The other day husband said he doesn't know what he was feeling at *a* moment, until he has time to really digest it.
"So all this time bila i tanya you rindu i tak, you don't know what you mean when you said you do??", i said.
He really didn't. Until he realises the emptiness in his heart, the silence of the house, the boredom he felt and etcetra etcetra was actually him missing me.
For me, it's strange that he doesn't know what his feelings meant. For him, it's strange that i feel so much. And talk so much.
And enjoy being around people.
He doesn't get me and i don't get him. I mean, we do know each other, but we don't understand.
Me, the extrovert, i get energy from people. I like meeting friends and families. In fact, if i was tired, being around people actually make me energised.
Him, the introvert, he gets energy from being alone. Being around people makes him tired.
One day, i could sense that he was having a tough day because he was quiet throughout dinner and into the night.
I kept asking him what's wrong and stuff, but in the end i got frustrated because i couldn't get an answer from him.
I expected you know, a conversation like this:
Me: What's wrong? Ok ke keje?
Him: Hmmm.. Ada problem. I blahblahblha, so blahblahblha, boohooohooo...
And then we talk it out in warm embrace, and then me telling him all the inspirational stuff like:
Me: You can do this, sayang. Because you're a blahblahblah and i blahblahblah. I love you.
Him: Sayang, i can't do this without you. You are my love, my precious gemstone, my life, my everything! I cannot imagine what my world would be like without you. I love you so much to the other galaxy and back.
And then he proposed to me and we got married and we live happily ever after.
But reality was different.
Well, first off, we're already married, so scratch that.
But he didn't declare his magnificent love for me. He just kept to himself. I had to eat my imagination for supper because it never came true.
My whole life experience of living with an introvert brother did not make me understand an introvert that much, rupanya.
So here's what you should know about an introvert:
1. Them being alone does not mean they're lonely. They're enjoying their time away from physical interaction with people.
2. They are not emotional (publicly). So don't expect them to cry over things you're crying over. They feel things, but just not expressive.
3. Publicly, they can be awkward or normal. If they're not in the mood, they're probably just stand in a group but seriously not listening to a word. If they are, they can talk and join in the conversation.
4. They're good at pretending they're listening (most likely for adults. Kalau teenagers tu, diorang belum asah lagi kebolehan ni).
5. If they like doing something, they will do it alone. Like playing games, travelling, watching movies, etc etc. So takyah terasa if you're left out.
6. They don't care about what others think. Because they're introvert. So most likely, their inner voice is super loud sampai it can cover the noise around them. Their inner voice is just one voice i think...
7. They can be reasoned with, so don't think that introverts are selfish. They're okay je.
8. They can achieve stuff on their own. Like studying for exams.
Here's what you should know about extroverts:
1. They're not necessarily loud. They just have a lot to talk about and express that they probably could not hear themselves because the sound of their brain working to find files and datas in the memory folders were too loud.
2. They really do feed off the energy of others.
3. They like socialising because of point 2. Therefore, they like to do things in groups, like travelling, watching movies, etc etc.
4. They understand and learn better in study groups (groups la in general) because discussions open their minds.
5. They're not necessarily happy go lucky. I've met several angry extroverts. >_< They're comfortable talking about their feelings and thoughts.
6. They're able to struck a conversation with anyone. Tapi ikut mood jugak la. But once dah masuk gear, susah nak stop.
7. They can make people feel like they know each other very well. Or they are socially awkward.
8. They probably have inner voices. And their inner voices talk over each other. That's probably why you've met people who talk fast and a lot in a short period.
8 points each!
Now these points are based on MY observation and personal experiences with people (which can be right or wrong). Of course we couldn't generalise everyone to be a 'type'.
Eventhough i am an extrovert, i don't like small talks unless i have to, and i'm choosy. I like watching tv in silence.
Eventhough my husband is an introvert, he likes meeting people he can learn from. And he talks while watching tv. *he doesn't mind recapping a whole episode while watching a show he's into. I, memang tak la! I will grunt at him or ignore him completely when he asks me questions while i watch my show.*
The fact that we chose to marry each other eventhough we're practically from opposite universe, means that we're willing to compromise. =)
So i basically share this because i wanna share how introverts and extroverts are nothing more than just people =) A person can be a very strong introvert/extrovert, but there are lots of people yang tolerable level of intro/extrovert. Nak senang, kita just respect and know that not everyone's like us. Bila dah tau, then kita tak senang terasa or ada expectation kat orang =)
Annnnnnnnnnnddddd.. Here's my awkward sign-off!
Thanks for reading and do share your thoughts!