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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Salam Raya

Assalamualaikum and good morning!

So, rasa cam dah lama tak blog. Rinduuuuu~
ahaks!

Sekarang sudah pun beberapa hari lepas raya aidilfitri.
Apa cite korangs?

Kita orangs okays jers.

this is, alhamdulillah, our third year beraya as a family - myself, husbeng and nadrah.
this year, beraya ngan family aspidos dulu, baru dengan mine.

i was talking to a friend yesterday and it just got me flasback-ing to the first raya after i 'berhijrah' and then to the first raya i had with aspidos's families.

first raya lepas i berhijrah, i wasn't that aware of the mahram & non-mahram thing, and went ahead with salam and hug all relatives i have. it didn't occur to me that i had to jaga not only my aurat, but my skinship with others.

so, when i realised this important fact, i tried to implement it by avoiding salaming my uncles and cousins who are my non-mahram. it wasn't easy, i tell yah.
we're so used to salaming each other and stuff, that when i tried avoiding it, it looked as if i was avoiding them. my bad though, i didn't know a subtler way of not accepting handshakes, so i say my "Selamat Hari Raya!" and run off quickly in a circle. because i don't know where else to go coz sometimes during these raya visits, we just can't run off to bathrooms, or whoever's rooms every time someone comes in, get what i mean?

it was so awkward in those early implementation phase.
but alhamdulillah now, all my cousins and uncles are aware of my principles, so they don't extend their hands anymore.

and then there's my husband's side of the family.
i wear tudung all the time when i'm at my in-laws. actually, even at my parent's house i pakai tudung. it used to be hot but i've gotten so used to it that kalau tak pakai, rasa cam rimas. haha!
so anyway, the same thing happened with my in-laws. i mean the uncles and cousins part. i was the first menantu ever kot dalam level anak buah for the uncles and aunties, so i guess they weren't aware of the no-salam prinsip i have.

again, it was awkward at first, but alhamdulillah now, semua dah tau je.

no matter which kampung we go back to, either mine or aspidos's, i have to tutup aurat all the time, except kalau dapat bilik.
and in those early days, people would tell me that it's okay to take of my tudung and wear short sleeve tees because we're all family.

i'm just telling you that, yes, it's hard at first to taichi the handshakes, the hugs, and people's perception (if they have any) of you.
the handshakes especially sebab bila uncle kita yang kasi duit raya, mesti diorang expect kita salam kan? ada yang memang dah tau and kisah pasal mahram/non mahram ni.
tapi ada yang tau tapi tak kisah, and ada yang tak tau.

just do it anyway.
try to stop yourself from extending your hand for a handshake.
try to take the duit raya without handshaking your uncles or male cousins.
try to wear tudung and long sleeve tees (and long pants/skirts duhh) anyway when it's hot and pedulikkan apa orang kata.
try to wear shoes everywhere so that you're in your socks all day.

how i did it might not be the best way:
i take the angpow, put my hands behind me, bow my head and tell them "Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin, *insert awesome speech on forgiveness for my faults etc*".

so far it worked.
but i bet there are other ways to do it. i think i saw videos of it too!

i know this post should've been up before raya, but you know how Ramadhan is.
Instagram was the way to go. hahaha! =p

it doesn't have to start during raya though. anytime pun boleh start all this no salam thing. so there's always time to change and stick to your principles.

inshaAllah you'll do fine, and inshaAllah it'll get easier =)
All the best!

our most appropriate family photo. ada lagi actually, tapi photos dari phone tak sync lagi ngan computer. wuuuu..

baju baju yang sepatutnya kita pakai masa sil kawen, tapi tak jadi. so jadi baju raya je.
me, head to toe in La Kayena <3



SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

May Allah accept our ibadah during Ramadhan, and moga kita istiqamah! inshaAllah!

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

cantik sgt baju Maria...

PeRdU cINta said...

Betul..aidilfitri pertemuan ukhuwah sesama keluarga..jauh dekat..lelaki wanita..tua muda..yes aurah satu item yang mesti dititik beratkan..silap percaturan boleh timbul syak wasangka..pandangan sinis..kerana masih ramai yang tidak ambil tahu dan buat buat tidak tahu..berlainan bagi yang betul betul tidak tahu..kita cuba praktikkan slow slow..in sya Allah boleh..

lydia said...

gud info! semoga saya dapat jadi lebih baik dari hari semalam...

Izyan Balqis said...

Gud info then. Memang sgt terbatas tapi itu adalah kewajipan. Kadang terlepas pandang jugak, pkai short sleeves tees bila ada ipar...huhu..

HanaBlurbs said...

I tried to withheld this principle but it's too hard V_V I admire you keeping hold of it!

Hana Blurbs

saye niza said...

same goes with me. I've just start withheld this principle once I got married. same la jugak, buat-buat lupa nk salam, hakikatnya melarikan diri and try to save my hand haha. InsyaAllah, benda baik Allah bantu. :D

FadMN said...

suka baju awak la..
btw, good reminder indeed.honestly,i belum tahap full cover lagi bila kat rumah.tengah cuba lagi ni..

Anonymous said...

Mine was quite ok. During hari raya and after welcoming the guests, the girls will be in their room and they boys will helped out with the dishes. Once they leave then we will switch.Hahaha..

asmahani said...

Samelah kite. Balik beraya kat rumah nenek sebelah suami this year,meriah ya ampunnn..sampai tido berderet kat hall rumah aje..ade sepupu tido dalam kereta siappp..hihi..Kita ni,nak tak nak,memang pakai tudung lah masa tido. Tak lama pun kita beraya kat kampung..as for me,just bear with it..2-3hari aje kan...

chiku the chucuru said...

once dah kawen, i try not to take off my tudung when im at my husband kampung. cuma sekarang, bab short sleeves tu la nak kena tukar pula kepada long sleeves.. insya-Allah...

FJ said...

great post! i so feels ya maria!
selamat hari raya n maaf zahir batin =D

J u l i a 。.゜✿ said...

selamat hari raya maria..

kalau pakai glove ? boleh juga kan salam salam dengan uncles semua. takdalah mereka kecik hati.

Zafirah Kama said...

Selamat Hari Raya Puan Mariaaa.... heee...

Past few years dah boleh accept not to salam every uncles.. just bow and smile with those sweet words...

Unknown said...

my brother in law igt i tak respect dia sbb xnak salam dia..n i pun dpt pandangan sinis 'dlm family pun nk pakai tudung ke' ..its hard..sigh

Syazana said...

hahaha i also experienced the awkwardness to avoid salam my uncles & cousins but it was all way back in the past, now they know and understand :) Selamat hari raya kak maria!!

Jocelyn Lum said...

Everybody looks happy.

Nina Athirah said...

I also implement all that you state above but the most hardest part is your foot. Kat kampung takkan nak pakai stokin every time. nanti dorang cakap penggeli pulak. dilemma jugak lah

hanafina said...

Selamat hari rayaa kak maria and familyšŸ˜„

Cik Da said...

comel geram tengok

Unknown said...

mind to share what camera are you currently using? :)

Izzati Abdullah said...

susah nak bertolak ansur dengan orang yang jenis lepas.. haritu saya beraya dengan keluarga angkat, selamba dorg hulur tangan, nak taknak terpaksa salam gak sebab depan kawan dia. tetiba terus kena peluk.. speechless. :(

wani ezryl * said...

sy pun slow2 cover myself if balik kampung yg ada cous lelaki or balik rumah in laws. this year memang ada beli tudung khusus utk kat rumah (balik raya haha). means tudung yang terus sarung and mudah nak gerak. ke dapur, bilik air, etc. the weather was pretty hot, but it felt better to cover walaupun cabaran panas di waktu siang. lolx

farhanafarid14 said...

well thats really hard for me either. tapi dah slow slow hindarkan dari bersalaman. part pakai tudung too. sometimes its okay but the bila kita tengah relax relax free hair and tetiba family lain datang and I tak sempat nak capai tudung :'p lepas greet mereka then only sarung tudung. apa apa pun moga kita istiqamah. nice one kak mars!

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Anonymous said...

Awwww man this widens my horizon of perception on how different people's spiritual journeys are. Bahahaha poyo je ayat :p

On a serious note, everyone in my family is well aware of those handshakes and aurat thing so nothing is hard. Even siblings' in-laws pun ok jaah dah tau dah.

For all those efforts you are doing (and others in the same shoes as yours), do know that you guys are amazing :D *standing ovation*

Chapter kami. said...

For me, if nak salam dengan bukan mahram, just lapik tangan dengan tudung je.. then dari situ, maybe org yang hulur tu lebih aware.. Cuma nak praktik kan pakai socks dalam rumah tu quite challenging jugak la..

HananIzzati said...

I feel you, Kak Maria. sy start pakai tudung dalam rumah about 2 years ago. dlm family sy, ada 9 orang cucu (incl myself). 3 boys and 6 girls but I'm the only one yg pakai tudung dalam rumah. So memula tu org lain memang tengok sy pelik la kan. Tapi sekarang semua aunties and uncles nampak dah faham. Cuma hari tu masa raya, one of my youngest female cousin ada tanya, "kenapa kakak pakai tudung dalam rumah?" and I don't know how to answer to her question. Like I really don't know what to say. So I said "sebab kakak dah besr". My cousin tu dah umur 16 tahun and I guess dia still tak berapa tahu/faham pasal isu aurat dengan sepupu lelaki. so anyone ada tips x mcm mana nak jwb soalan mcm ni in case lepas ni ada yang bertanya lagi? thanks!

yo said...

Selamat Hari Raya kak mariaaa! hee :)
saya fhm sngt laa dilemma salam tak salam ne.
masa kecik2 dulu rileks je salam ngan pak sdare ke spupu ke.tp bila tahu yang xleh salam ngan pak sedara yg bukan originally pak sedara kita n cousins laki,terus saya berubah.
so,family mcm pelik jugak laa knape tetiba taknak salam.Satu lagi,mmng awkward gile masa diorang tanye kenapa tak bukak tudung?kita kan satu family..
diam n sengih je laa.
bukan nak aibkan diorang tapi rmai masyarakat yg masih blum tahu psl benda ne.so, good post kak maria !
anyway~ saya ada trbace satu tips kat twitter;
kalau ada orang bkn mahram dtg nak salam,cakap kat dia ada lada kat gigi..konpem dia gelabah.masa tuu la peluang nak lari! hehee
tipu sunat takpee ;) k mintak maap komen panjang2. ^^

NURUL AFIQAH said...

Selamat hari raya..tahun ni sy beraya bertiga jugak..alhamdulillah..raya kat sg petani & k.trg :)

Hanis said...

thanks for good advised kak maria. =)

http://myartcrafting.blogspot.com/2015/07/syawal-giveaway.html

Kak Vit said...

semoga terus istiqamah dear.. :)) wish u all the best!

Unknown said...

Tadi tengok awak kat rancangan EntriJameela.. :)

Unknown said...

Finally akak update jugakk..almost everyday search blog ni nak tngok ada update baru ke tak :) selamat hari raya kak. Makin comel your princess!!

NZ22 said...

salam maria. thought i was the only one with this prob. actually my family was mostly aware abt handshake but it's the hijab part that was hard for me. i guess up till today most of my family members were still not aware of it but alhamdulillah i didnt get the awkward question of 'why' anymore. honestly i think the hardest part was not about wearing the hijab at home it's to be firm on your decision to wear the hijab around relatives knowing how awkward the situation will be and at the same time knowing that it is what's right. but sometimes it's sad to know that what makes it harder is that i was too worried about people perception on me. i hope i'll have a firm stand with my principle one day.

Eintan Nurfuzie said...

selamat hari raya elena

Ariesha Noorezan said...

Setuju kak Maria! Kekadang serba salah dibuatnya. Nak taknak, kena bertegas jugaklah. Kekadang buat muka selamba je tak salam padahal dalam hati punyalah takut kalau-kalau ada yang kecik hati. Especially bapa2 saudara yang dah berusia. Hurm.

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Mardiah Diana said...

Selamat hari raya elena...maaf zahir batin

Kak Vit said...

nice photo dear.. :))

Elly Khalid said...

Alhamdulillah...in shaa allah..usaha Maria tu, Allah permudahkan jalannya..sama-samalah kita menjaga batas aurat..

Unknown said...

hye... uncle means here, pak cik yg mendatang ye???

Anonymous said...

mcm dah lama akak tak update blog...rindu la akak

- Husna Nana - said...

good entry maria :)

Siapa yang mencari supplement untuk kesihatan. Boleh follow ig @vitamincantikbyhusna

Thanks :)

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