Sunday, September 16, 2012

true love

i went through so many obstacles..
i had to go through a broken lift, i had to swim, and finally..

i saw my arwah tok.

and i cried.
and he cried too.

i asked him "why tok.. why have you been gone for so long.."
he was sitting down, while i was kneeling next to him, holding his hands.
"i miss you tok.. tokwan pun.."
he just cried.. he reached out a hand and held my face and smiled.

and then i woke up from my sleep. with tears running down my face.

al-fatihah..

i miss him so much..

my arwah tok was an amazing guy.
he was in the police force, so he had discipline and he had this aura that made everyone respect him.
i remember when i was younger, he would take my brothers and i to subang parade to eat extravagantly at mcdonalds - masa tu mcd macam mahal, and then he would take us to toys r' us and let us have anything we want.
oh joy!
i always pick out the cheap stuff coz i segan nak take the expensive ones. i always take like polly pockets yang paling simple, sometimes soft toys and stickers. while my brothers, hmph! opportunists!
they would pick the expensive lego toys, and my youngest brother dapat the car for kids tu.
cis jealous betul tapi tanak beli mahal mahal.
takut tok tak mampu. redha je laaaaaaaaaa.
hehee..

arwah tok left us when i was form 2..
i cried so hard then.. because i remember how he would sacrifice for us.. he lived with my tokwan in shah alam, and he would just drive to wherever we were to help us and even send us to tuition classes when he was sick..
he died due to lung cancer..

it was so sad.
a few years after he left, my tokwan stayed with us. she has leg problems, so she cant climb stairs, sit too long, walk too far, and stand too long. and she loves gardening and cooking.. so her leg problems kind of stopping her from doing them. kesian dia..

haritu as i was making cucur kurma, i talked to her helper who was taking care of her. she told me that tokwan was crying.
"ha? nape lak kak?"

"sebab dia tengah rindu arwah tok. ena tau tak kadang kadang tokwan bangun tengah malam pastu nangis sebab dia rindu arwah tok. pastu dia cari gambar arwah tok pastu peluk peluk gambar tu.
kadang kadang dia ambik baju arwah tok yang tinggal satu tu pastu peluk baju tu.
kakak pun tak tau apa nak buat..
orang dah pergi, nak buat camane kan.."

menangis aku masa tgh siat siat si kurma tu.
ada gak hingus meleleh.
huhu..

but it was sad to hear.
tokwan loves tok very very much, everyone can tell. coz she has pictures of him in her room, in her house, and she would talk so passionately about arwah tok and about how they fell in love.
=')

that is true love.

tokwan advised me "ena, bila kahwin, memang you will have problems. memang akan naik turun. but you have to face them together. don't tell people about your problems with your husband. you face it and you solve your problems with each other."
in sha Allah tokwan =)

not too long ago, my tokwan wasn't feeling so well.
she almost gave up, until my mom talked to her and then the weekend when i came home, i went to see her.
she held my hand and said "ena, no matter what, i will be there at your wedding. i will! i must!"
and she said that with tears brimming in her eyes.
i pun apa lagi.
nangis la juga.

hehee.. i'm a very emotional girl, it's plain obvious.

i hardly tell stories about my grandma, tokwan.
because her stories are the kind that would make me cry. the things she does and had been doing since i was a child, are the kind of things i hope i will do when i have kids and grandkids and more.
she never stopped cooking even when it hurts her to, and she would cook anything we like, just because!
my tokwan is very very kind and has a very very gentle yet strong heart.
my tokwan is also a very funny person =)
i think my dad got it from her, and i got it from my dad. hehe =p

and so, when i learnt that she still shed tears for arwah tok, makes me wonder.. how it's like to loose the people you love in your life..
mesti rindu yang teramat..
i had 14 years of memories with my arwah tok pun i boleh rindu. what about her?
mesti la lagi rindu..

so cherish the people in your life. especially family because no one can replace them.
make memories with them so that when they leave this world, at least you know you've had fond memories with them.
=')


may we meet in Jannah, in sha Allah =')

65 comments:

shafira aida said...

:(

Zharif Azis said...

sedih nya ='( Al-fatihah ~

@ShafyqOnlyy said...

dalam kenangan , al-fatihah

Nurmujahidah Ismail said...

:'( nape sedey sangat entry kali ni,, alfatihah untuk arwah,,

Sabrina said...

:( al-fatihah...

cik yuyu said...

oh my god.. this story make me cry!!!

shidaR said...

al-fatihah buat tok dan tokwan maria ~

Myra Abdullah said...

huuhu chediyh!!

btw,handsome la tok =)


Cik Kamoo said...

Al-Fatihah :(

Dylla Fadzil said...

Touched T___T

http://dyllafadzil.blogspot.com/

safiah sokher said...

Al-fatihah :)

Ainur Hamzah said...

Al-fatihah :')

Violet Grace said...

This post made me SEBAK... I know how you feel... I miss both my late grand dad and grand ma too, they were those who raised me up. :'( Semoga mereka ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman di syurgaNYA... Ameen...

ziera said...

nicest...Al-fatihah

nurdani said...

al fatihah...

teringat dekat arwah tok dan wan saya :(

dyna syamsuri said...

al-fatihah.

salam kak maria, my mom kata kalau kita mimpi dengan arwah, then dalam mimpi tu dia tak bercakap maknanya itu mimpi betul2. bukan gangguan iblis or else. kak maria beruntung!

semoga kak maria tabah :)

anif abdullah| AA said...

inspired and so true love :(
al fatihah

siti khadijah said...

i'm touching :( Al-Fatihah Buat Yang Telah Pergi :)

Alynn Notnot said...

one meaningful post.

P/s ; oh how i miss polly pockets.

Misz Mieza said...

Ramai2 kita hadiahkan Al-Fatihah untuk arwah Tok Ena.. InsyaAllah, semoga rohnya berada dalam aman & di bawah lindungan kasih sayangNYA..

Hana said...

Al-Fatihah =)

ra|nbOw said...

Ini sedih, sangat. Nak menangis rasa. Sebak.

1st time comment. :')

The Miss Era said...

Oh myyyyyyy...
You made me cry :'''(
Its so true.
No one can replace them ...

CikZaitul said...

cinta sampai syurga :)

burung hantu yang lelap said...

what a very inspirational post u have maria....thx...=) i would love my family more...

✿Lady Ainaa✿ said...

I miss my grandparents too.. They go since am young, so i didnt remember their face, quite la.. Al Fatehah~

churippu farah said...

sangat sedih..tp amat bermakna..=')

Hanna said...

It's too sad to read. I lost both my grandparents last year. My grandma passed away first then followed by my grandpa 2 months after. Exactly the same day and time.

For me, that is true love as well.


Al-fatihah for them and your Tok.

munster said...

So do I! I cried almost every night when i lost my grandma. Rindu teramat :'(

Nabilah Rashid said...

kan dah ternangis tengah2 malam ni T.T
this is very sad yet inspirational!and sorta reminds me of the story Up, that true love ;')
happily ever after,is indeed how you see it,and how you make it.:)

Everything's Everythings said...

al fatihah to your tok..

balqisfz said...

kak ena. sedih aqis bace. aqis teringat arwah wan :') arwah wan suka sgt2 memasak. ingat lg msakan terakhir arwah wan, air sirap dengan telor goreng :')

Aliff Haikal said...

nak nangis :(

Nonita1992 said...

Allah bless his soul.....ameeeeen <3 ....n mariaaaaaa im sending you looooveee alll the way from Yemen ,Sana'a

evalovevo said...

hye kak maria,ni feztime sy nk terkomen kt cni..=)
sedih sgt baca..it's make me cry! coz sy paham perasaan tu..miss my arwah wan too..so much!kak maria untung dpt mimpi kn arwah ;)

alfatihah,

Nuroo Akiraa said...

al- fatihah . yes. no one can replace them, our family

kelipkelipchumel said...

tacing.sgt sweet.al-fatihah utk tok.trigt arwah mak (my grandma) jgk.

che'pi said...

Saya pun pernah mimpi rupa itu...
orang kata ... Arwah datang melawat kita... Al Fatihah.

awek_utara said...

u make me cryin alone!..so sad...insyaAllah akn lebih mghargai insan2 trsyg disekeliling..mostly parent,husband, n siblings..luved them so much!

nyway, pray for ur tok..al-fatihah...

steffany daph said...

(: i just can smile and inspiring with this true love.

Atiqah Wadiah said...

hargailah org yg kita syg sementara mereka masih hidup..

nissa mahoney said...

to find your true companion is not easy.. alfatihah to tok wan awak maria elena.

Mr Lonely said...

walking here with a smile. take care.. have a nice day ~ =)

Regards,
http://www.lonelyreload.com (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..

Isteri kepada Suami said...

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Ape yg tokwan u rasa..sofia sedang merasainya...kehilangan org yg amat kita syg mmg perit..org kat luar mungkin nmpk kita spt tabah hadapinya..tp dlm dirinya, hanya Allah yg tahu betapa seksanya utk berdiri..

al-fatihah untuk tok u and my husband..

regards,
Unsmiley

EIYAA RAZ said...

menangis bila baca entry ni , sobs~ Al-fatihah utk tok kak maria :(

Cik Mimey (owner fida's story) said...

saya mencari artis untuk program amal.. ada yang boleh bantu?

http://sukahatimimey.blogspot.com/2012/09/ada-sesiapa-yang-kenal-seleberiti-di.html

The girl in the selebet scarf said...

SEMOGA MEREKA BERTEMU D SYURGA

Lady Windsor said...

alfatihah utk ur tokwan ME..errr cemane masak cucur kurma tu ya? cam yummy eh..

Dzul said...

An invisible guy's cutting onions in front of my face. dem.

Al Fatihah.

Amisha Amira said...

insyaAllah Maria.. May us meet in Jannah k :)
www.aybiecollection.blogspot.com
do shop with us ya :)

AnisSa said...

i am a silent reader. tapi bila baca entry, rasa sebak jga. kak maria mmg pndai bawa emosi org. ^^ smoga segala hajat kak Maria tercapai :)

NydiaAnies said...

remind me of my grandma. miss her so much! :(

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CiK Sya_Amiey said...

you know what sis..i really love your blog..every single thing yg sis tlis..hope dpat jmpe sis suatu ari nanti :)

faizfakhirin said...

Setiap Hidup Akan Mati.

Just Smile and Be Cool.

Kita Pun Akan Mati.

LeenNajib said...

Al-Fatihah.

Mrs Anne said...

Ya Allah...sedihnye AL-FATIHAH..

Mrs Anne said...

Ya Allah...sedihnye AL-FATIHAH..

Mrs Anne said...

Ya Allah...sedihnye AL-FATIHAH..

Syaifuddin Alias said...

al-fatihah ..
yang hidup pasti merasa mati .
Kita ini sebagai hambanya
harus bersabar dan terus mengingati kematian yang memang dijanjikan

wnmwn said...

http://ziczac-toe.blogspot.com/

kak mariaaa , you are always the best.

norliyana ahmad zainuri said...

al-fatihah.. semoga mereka berdua di tempatkan di tempat yg terpuji disisi Nya... aminnn

wani syazwani said...

salam,my very first comment here.sedih baca cerita nie,true love between husbnd and wife.currently my husband went for haji,estimately 47 days,im at penang pursuing my study,ya Allah rasa mcm rindu sgt baru seminggu dia pergi ke madinah and next to mekah..so i just can totally understand mcm mane perasaan rindu tue..huhu...may Allah grant your tok with jannah,inshaAllah

aliqaliqa said...

you made me cry

tak hingat apa said...

u are diamond full of love..thats why u are my idol..im not choosing wrong person i believe im not wrong