Assalamualaikum,
I've been reading this book about making and breaking habits (though i won't recommend it to people this particular book, only because i think the writer is... not so successful at her own experiments. There's nothing wrong with that. Except it makes me not take her seriously. ANYWAY.)
I've been reading this book, and i thought of making new habits to replace old nonbeneficial ones, like scrolling through my phone, wondering what i should do.
Instead of just flipping the homescreen searching for something interesting to look for, i thought that i should blog more. Try....daily? Ehehehhh.. InshaAllah, daily posts. I CAN DO DIZ!
So here's what i really want to share.
I was reading my Quran translation book when i saw this ayat:
Surah Al-Zukhruf, ayat 88-89.
Cool gila.
Once upon a time, i felt the need to make people closest to me to change with me.
So selfish of me. It's just that, at that time, i wanted them to not be how i used to be - ignorant and arrogant, thinking i know everything that needs to be known. But then, what i thought was dakwah, was actually me pestering them and unintentionally belittle them.
Preaching/dakwah really really requires knowledge in psychology. It's like being a salesman that doesn't make a customer rimas, but makes them want to come back for more. Ha. Amacam. Haha!
When it comes to preaching, i really think that it should start with us.
We preach to ourselves first and foremost.
I remember a saying something like "what you don't like in others reflects what you are".
Basically, if i don't like a person who brags, that means i brag too. Something like that la.
Cermin diri sendiri dulu sebelum tegur. Nak tegur boleh. Serious boleh. Tapi kena ada kesedaran yang kita pun kekurangan.
Contohnya: si A tak suka si B sebab dia eksyen, suka share gambar barang kemas dia kat instagram. Pastu si A nak tegur si B. Tapi dia selidik diri dulu, kot kot dia ni pun eksyen. Tengok tengok dia ada la gak eksyen, tapi dalam bentuk lain. Suka eksyen pasal anak ke, etc. Dengan kesedaran si A yang dia ni pun ada penyakit hati, dia tegur si B, tapi dengan cara yang boleh si A & si B terima.
Means, tegur others like how you want to be ditegur.
Make sense kan?
Ok, so back to the ayat atas tadi.
Let's say even with the knowledge of our flaws and our efforts to change ourselves, or let's say we've succeeded in changing ourselves, then we share that knowledge with someone close with much tact and mannerism, ikhlas and respect, sebaik-baiknya lah!
Unfortunately, that person did not respond well. Either they held a grudge on us or leave us completely, all we have to do is turn away and say "Peace", because believe me, they will come to know.
Allah's timing is always right, for everyone. We do not need to pressure or stress out if a person doesn't change or accept advice immediately.
InshaAllah - everything is with Allah's permission kan.
So, peace je.
=)
I've been reading this book about making and breaking habits (though i won't recommend it to people this particular book, only because i think the writer is... not so successful at her own experiments. There's nothing wrong with that. Except it makes me not take her seriously. ANYWAY.)
I've been reading this book, and i thought of making new habits to replace old nonbeneficial ones, like scrolling through my phone, wondering what i should do.
Instead of just flipping the homescreen searching for something interesting to look for, i thought that i should blog more. Try....daily? Ehehehhh.. InshaAllah, daily posts. I CAN DO DIZ!
So here's what i really want to share.
I was reading my Quran translation book when i saw this ayat:
[We know the Prophet's words], "My Lord, truly these are people who do not believe,"
so turn away from them and say "Peace": they will come to know.
Surah Al-Zukhruf, ayat 88-89.
Cool gila.
Once upon a time, i felt the need to make people closest to me to change with me.
So selfish of me. It's just that, at that time, i wanted them to not be how i used to be - ignorant and arrogant, thinking i know everything that needs to be known. But then, what i thought was dakwah, was actually me pestering them and unintentionally belittle them.
Preaching/dakwah really really requires knowledge in psychology. It's like being a salesman that doesn't make a customer rimas, but makes them want to come back for more. Ha. Amacam. Haha!
When it comes to preaching, i really think that it should start with us.
We preach to ourselves first and foremost.
I remember a saying something like "what you don't like in others reflects what you are".
Basically, if i don't like a person who brags, that means i brag too. Something like that la.
Cermin diri sendiri dulu sebelum tegur. Nak tegur boleh. Serious boleh. Tapi kena ada kesedaran yang kita pun kekurangan.
Contohnya: si A tak suka si B sebab dia eksyen, suka share gambar barang kemas dia kat instagram. Pastu si A nak tegur si B. Tapi dia selidik diri dulu, kot kot dia ni pun eksyen. Tengok tengok dia ada la gak eksyen, tapi dalam bentuk lain. Suka eksyen pasal anak ke, etc. Dengan kesedaran si A yang dia ni pun ada penyakit hati, dia tegur si B, tapi dengan cara yang boleh si A & si B terima.
Means, tegur others like how you want to be ditegur.
Make sense kan?
Ok, so back to the ayat atas tadi.
Let's say even with the knowledge of our flaws and our efforts to change ourselves, or let's say we've succeeded in changing ourselves, then we share that knowledge with someone close with much tact and mannerism, ikhlas and respect, sebaik-baiknya lah!
Unfortunately, that person did not respond well. Either they held a grudge on us or leave us completely, all we have to do is turn away and say "Peace", because believe me, they will come to know.
Allah's timing is always right, for everyone. We do not need to pressure or stress out if a person doesn't change or accept advice immediately.
InshaAllah - everything is with Allah's permission kan.
So, peace je.
=)
3 comments:
Betul tu. Sometimes, I felt the urge to tegur that one person who I think should ditegur but then that person misunderstood me as me being berlagak baik. I know there's no one perfect in this world. But takkan kita kena jadi perfect untuk tegur orang kan? Kita tegur dia bukan bermakna kita perfect. Sama-sama berubah lah. Maybe the method I used to tegur that person was wrong kot..
Nice post. Memang itulah lumrah dunia kan. Apa pun kita just cuba approach orang tu dengan cara yang lebih kena dengan keperibadian dia. Yang penting doakan orang tu supaya berubah ke arah kebaikan.Kita dah tegur apa yang kita mampu.Selebihnya Allah je yang tentukan.
Hi Maria i think every islam women wants to be a housewife...but have u ever thought...why our parents send us to good school and always advise us to get a good result..and why they enrol us to universities...i dont they they want us to be a housewives right? Without money...we cant balas jasa ibu bapa...who wants to support them when they are old..our husband? Parents want whats best for their child thats why the always encourage us to study hard...im sure somewhere in ur parents heart...mesti ada hampa...but maybe they wont admit it...only god knows..and they redha....like you in the future...of course you want ur children to be excellent in schools and universities...and for what? To make them be successful in their lives later own so that they can take care of you in ur old age and not their husband...merasa duit anak sendiri and merasa duit menantu is different..trust me...in this life now, we should have careers..even siti khadijah is a business women in her era....a career...we should balas jasa ibu bapa...in my friends case...her husband died in early age...islam tak halang kita kerja...we have to be smart...i have 4 kids...theyre all big now...i send them over to my mother plsace and provide her with a maid so that the maid can take care of the house and she can concentrate on the kids...tak ramai yg senang...just a thought...waalaikumussalam
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