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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

what happened last year?



dah 2015?!

and Nadrah will turn 2 this year?!

and me??


"A new year, a new you" - biasa kita dengar quote camni kan.
before we look forward, we must look into the past that consist of lessons, learn and take note, so that we can be more careful in the future.

2014 was an amazing year.
i, for the first time, really went all the way with studying, parenting, business-ing, and wife-ing.
i've never had so much roles to play in my life!

and i never thought i could do it!

there were plenty times when i wanted to quit.
sometimes i drop random annoying questions to my husband:
"boleh tak i nak resign jadi isteri?"
sometimes, nak resign jadi ibu. and so forth and so forth. wahaha!

of course, i never meant to resign pun. if i could, of course i would though.WAHAHA!
but because i know i can't and this is what i've signed up for when i agreed to marry encik mohdasfirdaus.
"padan muka. sape suruh kawen?" - BAHAHAHA! =p

we're married for 2 years already.
so what have i learnt for the past 2 years of being a wife?
and honesty.

the first year of marriage, when i was pregnant, i've held back so much of my feelings because i wanted to be 'the perfect wife'.
i was macam hyper la before being a wife, pastu bila dah kawen, subdued gila sebab ecehcehhh! nak tunjuk macam ayu la konon.

this year, hmph! memang tak la. bila Nadrah grew and became more challenging for me to cope alone, i memang tak hold back dah my feelings. i went back to being myself.

i became brutally honest and more annoying. hahaha! it definitely feels so much more comfortable this way. i learnt that ugliness in oneself isn't because of the looks or characteristics, but because of the heart.
so, my honesty and annoying-ness weren't problems (which i thought were), but rather, it's the heart that needs more attention. basically, i had it all wrong la last year. heheeee =p
takpe, dah tau ada masalah hati, kita cuba tackle! (ye, saya pun ada heart problem wuwuwuu)

anyway, i've witnessed a baby's growth! subhanallah. it's amazing.
it's truly something so.. i can't find the best term for it.. it's so magical!

from being so dependent; have to teach them how to latch for breastfeeding, teach them how to hold things, teach how to crawl, etc, and i get to see tali pusat jatuh, i witnessed nadrah mengensot from point A to point B, i taught her how to turn. ahahahaha!!

kelakarnya bila ingat balik!
now, she's walking so much till she falls, and she talks german almost fluently.
but one thing remains the same dari infant sampai dah one year old ni: melalak je keje.

takpe. badan kuat.

anyway, i've taken my last paper already, alhamdulillah!
so with "student" out of my 'roles to play', i feel so free!
i just finished reading a novel, WHILE SIPPING ON MY HORLICKS!
rasa cam lama gila tak rasa nikmat camni. whahaha!!

alhamdulillah, my business pun dari jual sikit sikit, dah expanded and grew right under my nose. rasa nak nangis tau sebab tak sangka.
i've invested a lot on my business. my energy and time especially. so to see it grow to how it is now, i'm just glad.
what initially was meant to be a business for my own gain, became something completely different.
it's not for my sake anymore.
it's a medium for the syrians, whom i never thought i'd come to know, and mashaAllah, they're so nice and such strong people!
everytime, seriously, everytime when i visit them to send or pick up materials and stocks, i always feel like crying because i feel like i havent done enough for them.
and they've done so much for me!
they give me food and treat me so lavishly, buat i faham, the feeling of barakah.
and i hope what i've learnt from them, i've implemented in my own self and family: to greet visitors like kings and queens.
in sha Allah.

oh, and pasal wife-lihood, i can't believe i can cook now!
before i got married, i can't even cook a telur mata kerbau. my telur mata will become telur dadar or scrambled eggs. suddenly je.
but now, i can cook! benda simple simple je la. takde la hebat macam chef terus nak masuk masterchef kan, but boleh la pass.
i've learnt to moderate the groceries too so that we don't buy too much and end up wasting. HAHAHA! i never thought i could do such thing!! i mean, because before this, you know. i was abysmal in the kitchen.
i started by asking my mom's helper to prepare the ingredients and cook in front of me. recipe books never teach how to kopek bawang or how to chop garlics.

i was that bad. serious.

now alhamdulillah. with time and effort, and of course, Allah's permission, i got several thumbs up from husband.
sometimes i hold my breath and watch him eat first coz it's nerve-wrecking-ball. i don't know if my cooking's good enough or not.
sometimes, when i think i made a good dish, but he doesn't react to it, rasa cam nak masuk bilik and nangis je. hahaha!
that's why my husband hates me watching malay dramas. he hates the way the dramas giving me dramatic ideas on how to react to negative impressions or whatever. hehehehehee =p

so, to you non-cooking girls, chill. belajar je masak. practise makes perfect. kalau takut sangat nak disappoint your hubby, then practise with your mom or whoever la. memang la kena beli groceries lebih sebab nak practise kan... but think of it as an investment. for your husband's happiness. for your marriage.
a way to a man's heart is through his stomach kan?
heeee =p

you can do this!

i guess that sums up what 2014 had been for me.
i don't do "azam" coz i don't like to stress myself. haha!
i just look forward to more opportunities, more inspiration, knowledge, people and places that can bring me closer to Him.
in sha Allah.
umur kita meningkat, kubur makin dekat. takut gak ek...

ok la! tu je!
good nightttt!

oh ya, lupa. padahal it was my intention. ceht.

2014 we all have witnessed so many sadness too.
we all went crazy with boycotting israelis products, we all grieved for the passengers of MH370, MH17 and QZ8501, and we faced kekeringan and banjir.
i pun tak tau how many times we need our wake up calls.
as a person who only sees all this through the tv, i can only emphatise, but i can't truly imagine what it feels like to be a 'victim'.
i'm scared thinking about it.. berat mata memandang, berat lagi bila dipikul.
i hope Allah gives you strength and patience and the ability to keep faith in Him and His Qadr.
to the palestines, the syrians, the rohingyas, the africans..
may your jihad brings you to the highest level of Jannah.
i'm a scaredy-cat, but i hope i have the courage when faced with the enemy.
in sha Allah.


Mira Amirudin said...

Glad with you kak maria :)

Maria Hasun said...

In Sha Allah:)

Maria Hasun said...

In Sha Allah:)

totsndfils said...

InsyaAllah amin!

Tiha Azmi said...

InsyaAllah kak..aminn :)


masyaAllah... as I said before, ummu nadrah the inspirer! nak belajar masak jugaaa!! ;)

Unknown said...

dont struggle too much to cook lauk advance sangat. ikut selera husband u.

Like myself, i suka cuba menu baru, everytime tengok buka resepi nak try something different. TAPI end up masuk cik tong!

sebab nya, tak jadi & tak sedap satu hal. lepas tu tak kena dengan tekak husband. Dia suka simple je. just sambal & haiwan goreng cukup dah.

ikut selera husband kay.. (and of course tambahan lauk favourite kita & baby Nadrah too... :)

azuha said...

inshaa allah amin...doa seorang ibu amat mustajab.....semohga tahun ini semua nya berjalan lancar....maria

Unknown said...


baca ni sambil senyum-senyum dan berlinangan airmata.. tak tahu nape..

semoga semua baik-baik sahaja utk kamu dan keluarga... Aamiin.. :)

eima said...

wish u luck dan inshaaAllah .....

wani ezryl * said...

true! homecook meal is way tastier (and homier) than beli kat luar. beli yang kat luar tu sedap jugak tapi ada letak ajinomoto perasa etc etc, expensive some more ahaha. eh you seldom post photos these days. more photos plz! ^^

Kak nad said...

hmm.. tp bab masakan tu memang betul... huhu.. rasa nak nangis je..

Unknown said...

So much happening in 2014 And i can relate to what u feel so much sebab just got my second and sigh hahah kadang kadang sabar can become so thin.. to u i wish u all the best and looking foward for a great and amazing 2015.

zinziemeewah said...

yup...2014 was year of ujian for each person especially malaysian.. semoga 2015 memberi lebih rahmat dan keberkatan kepada kita semua.. amin


yoorinmelacolea said...

alamak..macam kes kite je ni part bila dah jadi bini & mak mak..haha.. .. btw, .. 2015 please be good .. insyaa Allah

dorsett pink said...

Congrats of your 2years being a wife already and become 2 years of being a mother. Well done.. same with me, I'm also 2 years already of being a wifey and not yet reach even 1 year of being a mom..

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Unknown said...

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