Monday, December 1, 2014

THE sacrifice

assalamualaikum~

so a while back, a friend of mine shared an article about the sacrifices of a doctor. the list consisted stuff like sacrificing lepak time with friend and families, holidays, and apentah lagi i forgot. hehee..

i thought back then, housewives too sacrificed a lot. (tanak kalah tu! hehehe!)
one of them is being a mother, which any woman know what that's like - mothers put their child first. it's ok if the mother is hungry, as long as the child is well fed. no ELs, no bonuses, ah well, you get the gist.

and then recently my mom and i had a conversation, and she asked me about my sil. she graduated from med school and is now doing housemanship. we're all so proud of her =')

and suddenly, i felt a pang of sadness. i told mom that i'm sorry.. for not being able to make her proud.

i'm not a naturally smart person. i worked and pushed myself so hard to get good grades and graduate university so that i'll make my parents proud. i saw how they struggled for us.. so it's the only way i could repay them. i was so happy when they told me they were proud of me when i graduated from UTP. so i thought i'd be an engineer for the rest of my life and make them prouder. hahah ahah hahhhh... (gelak tak ikhlas)

it's natural kan when old people meet their friends, they all start asking each other about what their kids are doing. i imagine my parents would be very proud telling their friends that i'm an engineer. not that being proud is wrong! they deserved a lot of credit for raising us so well!
but now that i'm not an engineer, and just a housewife with a starting business, hmmmm.. i don't know... i don't want people to think they didn't raise me well enough or whatever.

i asked mom if she's ok with me being a housewife.
but then.. if i'm her, i'd want me to continue being an engineer, to be honest.

alhamdulillah though, she's cool about my choice in life, and good thing the abusive and crazy caretakers videos helped me make her see and accept it easier! hehehehee =p

anyway, in the end, the one sacrifice i think that's hard for me to make..


..is being able to make my parents' proud.


maybe it'll take a while before i get to, but till then.. all i can do now is tawakkal and do my best =)
in sha Allah.

7 comments:

Afiqah Azmee said...

Apap apa pun, surirumah adalah pekerjaan paling mulia kan ehehe.

AzrinaAhmad said...

Maria... If this would make you feel better...
It's true as parents they would be proud if you achieved something big in your life, for example in this case is becoming a successful engineer.
Eh tapi you memang engineer pun, domestic engineer. hikhik.

Tapi bagi I, inilah cabaran dunia. Insya Allah Maria, if you succeed in becoming an obedient wife, raised your children and guide them through the true path and do more good things in your life, big rewards awaits you hereafter.
Mungkin we feel we have let our parents down bila berhenti jadi engineer, jadi doctor, jadi akauntan. Tapi kita kena pegang kuat yang itu bukan ukurannya di mata Allah swt. Biar kita kumpul banyak2 pahala dan tolong mak ayah kita di akhirat kelak. Masa tu mungkin, adalah their proud moment. Allahualam.

Maria Elena Zarul said...

true that azrina!

in sha Allah!
may our hearts be protected and filled with love for Allah SWT and Nabi Muhammad SAW.

Thank you for your comforting words =')
Jazakillah khair khair and more khair!!

mj ustad said...

asalammualaikum kak... nak tanya pendapat..aybe akak boleh post something pasal soalan saya ni..
ok macam ni... ada la seorg hamba ALLAH ni dia senior engginer mcm tu la lebih kurang pangkat tinggi and kawen dengan staf dia but bila dah kawen si suami tak kasi kerja keana ego biasalah...mungkin kerana gaji isteri lagi tinggi ...but in other hand ayah si perempuan ni boleh dikatakan menangis tiap tiap malam sebab anak dia tak kerja...maksudnya dia tahu anak dia sangat aktif, and mmg cita cita nak jd org y berjaya... ayah dia sakit hati bila tahu anak dia kena kurung 24 jam seruis laki dia xbagi keluar rumah langsung..kuang hajo gile...
bila saya terdengar cerita macam ni and cerita yang seumpamanya saya seakan tak boleh terima y syurga isteri tu bersama suami... bayanglah if siperempuan tu dari keluarga susah from zero to hero bila dah berjaya confirm lah nak bagi segala galanya kat mak ayah ...tiba tiba xdboleh kerja kewangan pun tersekat...
so mungkin kak maria boleh bagi sedikit nasihat kat orang yang menerima dugaan macam ni....kenapa saya tanya soala ni kat akak bukan ustazah? sebab bolg akak popular and orang baca saya harap mereka baca... kesian kat mereka yang macam ni...xtau nk tolong macam mana... if saya ada nasihat saya akan suruh diaorang pentingkan ibu bapa if suami nak divorce silakan...haaa...tu ya saya xleh bagi nasihat tu...
;)

Whoda said...

Assalamualaikum,

Just want to share my tiny, humble thought. :)

I'm not a mother, nor someone's wife. But I always think that a mother should raise their child on their own to build their confidence in life, personality and most importantly, their religion and faith.

Because I read somewhere that nowadays woman are becoming more aggressive and less gentle/feminine, maybe because of their work stress, environment, need to compete with the guys in a lot of things (like me in IT field), etc. Well u can see from the news some of the examples ;)

Then somehow they(working mother) become less motherly/warm towards their child. Sorry I made this statement by comparing how my grandmother treat my mother and how my mother treat me. I didnt say that my working mother treat me badly, but I like the warmth that my grandmother have, so motherly u know. I wish my mother had it more.

But I really understands some mothers need to help the family financially to make a living for their child.

So, I really admire what u did. I pray that Nadrah will make u proud someday like u made your mother proud :D

Maria Elena Zarul said...

kehadapan mj ustad,
maaf saya tak berani nak kasi statement atau pendapat pasal benda ni. tak cukup ilmu lagi. saya pun baru nak 2 tahun kawen, belum cukup experience lagi.. sorry ek!
moga Allah dapat beri hidayah kepada semua =)

sis whoda,
mashaAllah, thank you so much for sharing!
i really know what you mean, since i've been living with my grandma since i was 15ish.
in sha Allah, Allah knows best, and i hope we all, this generation, can make future generations into people who pleases Allah swt =)
amiiiin! may Allah ease this path for us all!

. said...

Assalamu'alaykum Kak Maria.

Pertamanya, terima kasih banyak-banyak sebab menulis entri ni. Sebab buat saya sedar, yang saya tak keseorangan dalam hal ni :')

Lepas graduate, ramai kawan-kawan dan terutamanya saudara mara terkejut, kenapa saya tak terus cari kerja, tapi memilih untuk menjadi surirumah yang buat perniagaan kecil-kecilan dari rumah.

Biasalah kalau pergi kenduri saudara mara atau ikut mak ayah pergi mana-mana, mesti ada saudara-mara atau kawan-kawan diorang yang bertanya, "Anak masih belajar atau dah kerja? Kalau dah kerja, kerja apa? Kat mana?" Walaupun melalui raut wajah mak ayah, diorang seperti tak kisah menjawab "Dia kerja sendiri", tapi sebagai anak sulung dari dua beradik dan satu-satunya anak perempuan, pastilah perasaan saya terguris setiap kali mak ayah saya diajukan soalan tersebut. Tak ada anak yang tak nak buat mak ayah dia bangga tengok dia berjaya. Cuma mungkin, saya menggunakan jalan yang berbeza, yang buat orang lain tak faham kenapa saya pilih jalan ni.

Sebagai satu-satunya anak perempuan (nak pula dari 2 orang adik-beradik je), saya sangat rapat dengan mak. Jadi walaupun orang nak kata saya tak pandai sebab end up buat bisnes sendiri ke, apa ke, paling kurang, hari biasa, saya boleh teman dia buat check up kat hospital, teman dia pergi ke mana-mana yang dia nak. Tak lama lagi pula, dia dah nak pencen and we plan to do the business together.

Tapi biasalah, kadang kita terlalu fikirkan cakap-cakap orang. Sedih sendiri dengar kawan-kawan Mak yang bercerita anak diorang kerja itu, kerja ini. Jadi saya selalu tanya mak saya, "Mama redha tak dengan pilihan hidup kakak, sebab nak selalu dekat dengan Mama dan ada banyak masa dengan dengan Mama?" And she said, "As long as you are happy, I'm happy too. Nak layan cakap orang ni, sampai bila kita tak grow. Yang penting, macam mana nak buatkan pilihan kita ni sebagai pilihan yang berjaya dunia akhirat."

Dulu pun, saya bercita-cita nak terus sambung master, lepas tu jadi pensyarah. Tapi realiti kita tak sama dengan realiti orang lain kan? :) InshAllah, panjang umur murah rezeki, masih ada cabang ilmu lain yang boleh pelajari. Mungkin takdirNYa, pilihan hidup kita yang sekarang ni adalah baik untuk dunia akhirat kita. Biarlah orang lain tak faham. Biarlah orang lain nak mengata. Asal mak ayah, suami redha dan Allah berkati rezeki dan kehidupan kita. Dan apa juga pengorbanan yang kita lakukan sebagai seorang anak dan isteri, sebagai seorang yang bekerja atau surirumah, moga Allah balas dengan zuriat dan keturunan yang soleh solehah supaya boleh berkumpul sekeluarga di Syurga kelak. InshAllah itulah kebanggaan dan kebahagiaan yang sebenar.

Usaha, doa dan tawakkal. Let's do our very best, Kak Maria :)