Wednesday, March 21, 2012

To You is the return (of all)

Assalamualaikum =)

Umrah was an amazing experience.
i would love to go there again and again and again!
i'd love to go there with my (future) husband, and if Allah wills, my children, my grandchildren and so forth.

we went to Madinah first, my family and I, then we went to Makkah and lastly to Istanbul.

Madinah and Makkah was of course for the Umrah and Istanbul, for a short holiday =)

Masjid An Nabawi and Masjid Al Haram.. I miss these Masjids already..
the first time ever i felt so close to Nabi Muhammad SAW and Allah SWT.
the first time ever my heart beats in zikir.
the first time ever my brain resets itself from internet, social, and all the worldly desires, to only thinking of my relationship with Him.

i was scared. i takde la warak mana. i bukan nak cakap i pergi Umrah, i jadi gila warak sampai i can only think of Him.
i had so much thoughts and mostly, i had so much regrets and concerns.

i was embarrassed to be so close to Him and The Prophet Muhammad SAW.. remembering how i was and what i am now, i still find so many things about myself that are shameful. will i ever get His approval? what have i done to make Nabi Muhammad SAW proud of me being his follower?

i have so much to learn.
ilmu di dada, memang tak cukup. knowledge i gained from university and school days dissipates into nothingness when i looked at Kaabah.
to me, my knowledge in Islam is only as big as my little finger.
how can i not be embarrassed?

so when i was there, in these beautiful Masjids, when i saw Kaabah, i kept crying and crying.
Allah SWT blessed us with so many great amazing awesome things, and it's high time to contribute back.

at the age of 24 (soon to be 25), i am still in that identity-searching period.
i don't know if that's normal.
sometimes i just wish someone can just talk to me, point me to my direction and guide me through.
tapi, kalau it's that easy, then i won't have experiences to share kan?

that's why i kept crying when i was there.
that's why i only had Him in mind.

baru i tahu yang i tak tahu apa apa pun.




Ya Allah yang Maha Esa..
Ampun.. and Thank You.
=')

68 comments:

Wadi AR said...

:)

good kakak. Allah know everything

yuyu Zulaikha said...

teringin nak ke sana juga :)

!~ Dolly Auliya ~! said...

tersentuh hati mse baca,,, teringin sgt nak ke sana dgn family... :)

nabila azmi said...

teringin jugak nak ke sane..untungla=)mesti tng kan

Amely Afandi said...

punya cita2 utk ke sana juga . insyAllah one fine day :)

nur amalina athman said...

teringin sgt nak ke sana..

Raden said...

wondering when is my turn..
1 thing 4 sure is dat 1 day i will

Sakurashawl said...

bestnye maria dh sampai sana..akak pun teringin nk sampai ke sana..nak merasakan sendiri berpijak di tanah suci Mekah..insyaAllah,satu hari nanti..amin..

Syahmi Elias said...

Hopefully satu hari nanti akan kesana juga!!..amin..

Asyiqin Yunos, said...

I understand :) I'm just 19. lagi confused about my life, lagi jahil pasal agama but I'm trying to fix this.

May Allah bless us and guide us to the right way :)

Cha said...

Did Prophet Muhammad SAW would accept me as his follower and help me at Padang Mahsyar?

Oh my Lord!

Nice entry and thanks for reminding us about Him. Semoga bahagia Maria Elena :)

nurmujahidah said...

ALLAH maha pengampun dan maha pemurah,, dont worry k :D

[hazwani_mn] said...

alhamdulillah dah merasa ME pergi umrah. :)

nenek said...

nice entry.Allah Maha Pengampun dan Maha Penyayang.may Allah bless us :)

.masampahitgula. said...

alhamdullilah:))

.masampahitgula. said...

alhamdullilah:))

mia sha said...

teringin juga nak kesana.

♥ aN_Na ♥ said...

Reading your post this time put me into tears.. I'm scared too. There are sooo many things I still need to adjust and change. InsyaAllah. Let's do this together, sis! x

pika said...

even dah penah pegi 11 tahun yg lepas , tp xrasa puas sbb msa tu bru 9 tahun . xtahu ape2 pon tujuan pegi sane huhuhu . ilmu xcukup lg time tu

Mr feckry said...

yA aLLah..beruntungnya lu ke sana..gua doa lu sentiasa bertambah keimanan..

Semua hamba Allah yang pulang dari tanah suci, pasti akan menitiskan air mata...

Atiqah Wadiah said...

IAllah~Allah sentiasa berada di sisi hamba2 nya :)

afiqah.khalid said...

crisis identity. i know how it feel. confused, feel like want to cry all the time bcos donno the solution is. but Allah is closer to us more than our heart. ;)

puteh Nazumie said...

nikmatnya dapat rase ape yang kak maria rase..teringin saya pergi ke sana..tp niat di hati nak sampaikan ma abah ke sana dulu..... amin.

Effahazizi Mamafaranzara said...

sedihnya baca entry maria hari ni. bagus kita ingat dan sedar.. itu sifat hamba kan...

erinchunk said...

hi maria.

betul u cakap..masa i pegi umrah pun memang tak tahu kenapa rasa diri ni kerdil sangat.menangis sampai teresak2 depan kaabah.balik bilik.tido..pegi balik masjid..nampak kaabah.nangis lagi..

Ya Allah..rasa macam diri ni kecil sangat di sisi Nya. alhamdulillah maria dah selamat pegi dan selamat sampai :)

bless u my ukhti

Erin

Eiyra Shahira said...

wanna go there .. huhu..

Allah is GREAT..

Rezduan Bakar said...

Berharap dapat ke sana dalam masa terdekat ni.
Sentiasa ada dalam doa....

*SiRibenMerah said...

alhamdulilah.. :)

Cik tikah said...

bestnya. harap dapat pergi sana juga. satu hari nantiii..

Ini Mashi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ini Mashi said...

Alhamdulillah... Teringin juga nak kesana suatu hari nanti. Mendekati Allah dan Rasul pasti jiwa terasa tenang... :))

Lena Ob said...

Alhamdulillah..hrp2 kamu menjadi yang terbaik dan terbaik di mata Allah S.W.T...Semoga saya dan keluarga dapat ke sana dalam masa terdekat ini..Amin.

cinda said...

alhamdulillah..allah memberi keizinan ke sana..teringin sangat nak kesana lagi..dan jika diberi peluang sekali lagi berazam nak lebihkan beribadat dari berjalan jalan..insyaallah..

Ayna Al - Mohsi said...

Dear sis,
Allah sentiasa kasih dan sayang pada hambaNya yang beriman dan sentiasa bertaubat.
For sure He listen to you too. :)

AMALINA said...

saya pon penah kesana jugak. ye mmg terasa nak pegi lagi. lagi dan lagi!

NyssaSaad said...

teringin nak ke sana juga..
wondering when its my turn..
insyaallah..someday.. :)

˩α∂ʏвιя∂ℓʋʌѲиɛ ακα ΔиɢɛℓιЯα ʝѲℓιɛ said...

Teringin jugak nak g sana..

Umar said...

i felt something when watching your video.. and with you dah sampai sana?! only Allah know how you felt. Harap dapat jejak to all those places one day. InsyaAllah. anyway, thanks for sharing this on your blog

fatin amalina husna said...

insyaALLAH..one fine day..with my big family..

kerdilnya diri ini..

Azizah Alwi said...

Bila duduk dengan kakak-kakak dan hadek-hadek surau pun dah rasa malu apatah lagi kalau kita nak dekatkan diri dengan Allah SWT dan kekasihnyakan?

Terasa diri ini terlalu kerdil disisimu.What are you try to say is tersangatlah benar.Rasa mcm nak buat umrah lagi.

Illi Hzbull said...

alhamdulillah~
doakan kte pulak, nk jugk kesana kalau ada rezeki :)

EKA AMIN said...

Alhamdulillah~

nikfarina said...

Alhamdulillah akak selamat pergi and balik.i just dont know why bila nik tengok video tuh rasa sebak.

Dylla Fadzil said...

reading this pun dah makes me feel like crying T_T

Nina Ali said...

alhamdulillah, happy for you that you got to be there.

to me, it is okay to feel that you're still in a identity searching period at the age of 24 going to 25.

i have passed 35 and i am trying to 'find myself'.

then again, it should be continuous, this "soul searching" quest, not stagnant; because that way, you'll grow.

take care and all the best.

Nina Ali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
queenappa said...

sy nmpak akak!!!comel gler

miszatie said...

so cute

http://miszatie.blogspot.com/2012/03/wedding-in-mood.html

nabilah said...

praying that i can go to makkah and madinah also one day..insyaAllah

myra abdullah said...

Allah swt maha pengasih lagi penyayang..
=D

khalifah said...

pernah pergi sana..subhanaAllah..hnya org yg prnah prgi..akn rasa betapa sgtttttttttttt tenang..kt sna asyik bribadah..smpi tlupa nk pikir mslah kt mlysia..mslah diri sndiri..sgt2x tenang..

rarizzar said...

Ya Allah.. rezekikan kami untuk ke sana juga.

LidiaSuraya said...

Yang pernah ke sana pasti meyinduinya kn??

queenofqalbs said...

salam kak maghia, best nye dpt jejak kaki ke sana... teringin nk g tp still x bkesempatan.. moga kt smua sntiasa berusaha n istiqamah melakukan kebaikan... kelemahan kt itu sbnrnya hikmah.,mngingatkn kt yg manusia itu x smpurna...and hnya kpdNya kt lyk bergantung.. tc kak maghia...
your fan :p

dayah said...

good job. thx 4 ur vid, alhamdulillah.. refreshing my own memori being there last 10 years ago.. dulu f2 pegi umrah. rsnya kat sana sekarang banyak bgnn baru..teringat dulu masa kes cium batu hajarulaswad..ada auntie negro tolak2n mak seblh saya nak rebut cium batu. pastu mak sedih jln and tetiba auntie negro tu cium pipi mak tanda ampun kot. xsengaja~ hihi ;)

Mira Masri said...

I recently went there! I landed in Madinah and stayed for 3 days before I set my foot to Makkah. It was a soul searching and heart cleansing journey for me :) I hope you'll grant a mabrur umrah, Maria!

amni safiyyah said...

congrates!!..rase mcm nak nangis bace entry awk kali nie...

Allah isn't He or She..
rasanya lebih baik tulis Allah..
maaf. saye pun ade org tegur dulu. bile die kate, Allah bukan lelaki ataupun perempuan..saye terkedu kejap, n terpikir..betul jugak..He in malay untuk lelaki kan...

and again, really sorry,
i'm happy for you. i wish to go there too.. :)

NATASHA said...

salam....
kak maria elena...
no worries...teruskan berusaha...krn sesungguhnya Allah menilai segala usaha kita n bukannya hasil semata-mata...hasil is a bonus for us,,tp usaha itulah yg plg penting..."Dan katakanlah, "Bekerjalah kamu, maka Allah akan melihat pekerjaanmu..."(9:105)
umur bukanlah halangan...x kira siapa kita, brapa umur kt,,,yg pnting jgn pernah stop berusaha.."Wahai org2 beriman!Bertakwalah kpd Allah dan carilah wasilah(jalan) utk mendekatkan diri kepadaNya, dan berjihadlah(berjuanglah) di jlnNya agar kamu beruntung" (5:35)
Sama2 lah kt berdoa semoga kt sentiasa berada dlm kebaikan insyaAllah...
"Dan Tuhanmu berfirman,"Berdoalah kepadaKu,niscaya akan Aku perkenankan bagimu..."(40:60)
Semoga kt akan sentiasa berada dlm rhmat Allah SWT...InsyaAllah....=]
FIGHTING!!!;)

hariti said...

even org pakai tudung pun struggle mcm2 mende, xde terkecuali...sy pun kadang mencari identiti ( i will be 30 this year) there are no easy way, selagi kite di duga, Allah mengajar kite...it's hard...it's tough love i suppose

...miSS fAi... said...

setuju dengan apa yg u cakap. ilmu agama yg ade pd i nie xsebesar ibu jari pun. sangat sedikit. masih dan akan terus berusaha untuk hidup di jalanNya.

punya cita-cita untuk ke sana... moga Allah permudahkan harapan kita semua.. insyaAllah

Norsyafiqah Saiful Anuar said...

Rindu nak ke sana lagi. Semoga Allah beri ruang dan peluang untuk kita menjadi tetamunya lagi. :) Really love this, kak maria :) ♥ ♥

IjAiE said...

Maria, Alhamdulillah you rasa 'sesuatu' when Kaabah was in front you. Not many person as young as you or even older than you akan menangis bila lihat Kaabah. Maknanya Allah telah buka pintu hati you untuk menjadi yang lebih baik. My experience during haji 1432 h/2011 last year was also the most amazing, I am among the youngest Malaysian performing hajj even though I am older by 6 years from you. Dan haji cabarannya lebih besar dan kenangannya sangat kuat. Would like to share my experience with you, jika sudi jemputlah baca, it's my Hajj diary, it was dedicated to the experience because I could'nt forget it..it such a memorable, unforgettable and life-changing experience. http://ijaie.blogspot.com

deqno greenluv said...

insyaALLAh kesane jua nanti

deqno greenluv said...

insyaALLAh kesane jua nanti

Ami said...

entri yg sungguh memberi inspirasi. insyaallah akak akan berangkat ke sana 27 apr nanti.

rerehalim said...

Subhanallah. teringinnya nak pergi :')

Zahirah Zulkiflee said...

I'd love to go there with my family, InsyaAllah one day..
I hope my dream will come true, Amin Ya Allah =)

FARIQ ARIFFIN said...

salam maria elena..saya fariq ariffin yang empunya blog sajadahcintaana.blogspot.com.

bagaimana cara nak bagi orang komen blog ek,,cer ajar ket blh..