i haven't been eating nor sleeping right.
after work, i think about work, when i sleep, i worry about work, when i wake up the next day, i'm afraid to go to work.
all this constant thinking and worrying is because of my projects which i'm leading and i as the youngest engineer to do so, i lack knowledge, experience and sadly respect.
i've been running around the factory, trying to get things done, driving around to places to find parts which are always 'urgent' and at the same time, making sure that everything in the office is under control. nak buat process engineering and being a project leader at the same time is not as easy as i thought..
and to top things up, recently i just learnt something about myself that i'm not proud of.
and i have to thank my cousin for that. =)
we're so aware about the faults of people around us (whether we know them personally or not) but honestly, how aware are we about our own faults?
change is good but never is easy, especially if the change is for the better.
but now my head hurts just thinking about the many changes i have to apply on myself and of course, managing work.
i know i should just chill. but i can't.
i have a dateline to complete my projects, have the technicians to at least respect me enough to listen to me, to come up with a system to make work more manageable, and change.
it's not that i'm unhappy, i'm completely happy! but i'm just wound up with work.
hope it'll be ok soon, once i habiskan projects 5 ketul ni, i nak chill lama-lama and i hope the next time i'm going to lead a project, i'll gain these people's respect. pastu i nak muhasabah diri.
a wise person once said to me,
'the test gets harder when the reward is better'.hopefully this is my test, and hopefully i can overcome this phase in my life.
kepada adik2 saya,
jangan la nak rush rush nak bekerja. earning your own money sounds cool and stuff, but remember, you have to work for it. sabar k? =)
k la. lunch hour dah habis. time to sambung kerja.