Ya know, i believe we all have some ambition or goals that we wish to achieve but we hold ourselves back because we're:
3. not prepared (financially/mentally/physically/etc)
4. worried for others
For some reason, to reach one goal or ambition, we can come up with so many excuses, kan?
I'm like that too. Serious, you're not alone.
And i hate that self-doubt-excuse-making side of me because it hinders me from achieving so much!
But then... sampai bila nak macam ni kan?
I didn't realise this, until i've done it: i finished my masters eventhough i was sooooo not into it.
fiuh! glad that's out of my chest! =p
I started my masters program when i was still working as an engineer. I was handling projects and so i thought it would've been awesome if i studied Engineering Management (masters), and then perhaps i can be a certified Project Engineer or Planning Engineer with higher salary and position. Career-driven sangat.
It seemed as though i had my future figured out, except.. I resigned right about the time i got married. Which meant.... MOTIP SANGAT NAK SAMBUNG MASTERS KANNNNN.
I continued studying anyway, since i don't have anything (or anyone) holding me back. And at the time, i was just 3 semesters away. Didn't seem hard kan.
Pastu, jeng jeng jeng! I got pregnant! Alhamdulillah ='D
We were so happy sebab our boring lives will be filled with the sound of joy, that is our little babyboo, Nadrah. Awww... Comel je bila ingat that motherhood was easy. BAHAHAHA! (it's not, incase you're wondering).
There were many factors that made me grew so reluctant about completing my studies. One of them is the fact that i wasn't working anymore, and the other, was the fact that i had such a bad vomiting spree while pregnant. I had so many alah, it was crazy. The rest tu.. benda tak best la nak cite sini. Ehehee =p
Masa pregnant, tengok suami pun nak muntah. Teruk betul. (pastu anak muka macam abah dia kan.... saje je nadrah..). The only time i was ok was when i went to South Africa with my family.
Balik je dari holiday, sambung muntah spree. yaaaaaayyyyy..... (sambil nangis).
So anyway, i extended one semester when i gave birth sebab
1. Nadrah was that infant yang takleh pisah from me, plus she was feeding like one to 2 hours gap.
2. I couldn't drive without nodding off sleeping while driving (husband didn't want me to die so soon. awwww..)
3. it's almost an hour drive to class!
See? So many excuses.
In that few months free of classes, i thought i would be happy, but instead i had this crazy burden on my shoulders and this nagging feeling because i felt guilty.
Punya la i tanya my family and friends about you know, nak sambung ke tak? but in the end, my game-changing moment was because of this:
If ever my kid(s) think that they should quit something halfway just because they're 'not feeling it', or whatever, all i have to do is show them my degree and masters certificates and tell them that
"I spent 4 years of my life studying chemical engineeering when i hated chemistry since i was in school, and spent 2 years studying engineering management when i'm only managing you kids (and my business), and guess what. You'd think i regretted them, for taking away my years, but NO. They're the best decisions i've ever made because i proved myself that i can study crap, get good results when i'm not a genius or a quick learner, really learn something out of my comfort zone even when they're difficult, tak susahkan my family, AND i finished them! Maybe you don't believe this is the right path for you, but Allah knows, and you just gotta have faith, be patient and perservere, no matter what your setan tells you. OK? Gi sambung whatever you're doing before i gigit your back."
That's a good speech, if i may say so myself! It's completely the 'spur of the moment' thing. haha!
So yeah. Now that i've completed my studies, i'm grateful that i didn't give up too soon. I realised that kita ni, mudah sangat lupa our ambition and goals once it starts getting difficult. Sure, maybe my certs are worth nothing, but it wasn't meant just for the career, it was for my own personal gain, and i've gained a lot of skills.
When you're just about to quit, your excuses will sound very convincingly legit.
You can take a break, but don't quit.
Patience, perseverance, faith - they're the real recipe to success. All those bumps and trials you face, they're nothing compared to the victory when you've finished what you started!
Have faith in that!
And I believe the recipe for success is shared by many. Take P1 as an example. With perseverance, patience and faith they can overcome all challenges that may come in their way, they fought through and challenged themselves to be the best in their category!
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Conclusion - You can do it. You always do, so just do it ok?
(sounds like an advertisement pulak. bahahaha!)
Ok la, hope this helps ya! muaah!