I must remember

it has been 2 days since i've arrived safely home tapi rasa cam surreal je. the memories are still fresh but it's as if the memories are dreams yang real gila. does that make sense? entah la. that's what it feels like.

maybe it's my hormones. =p 

Allahuakbar! 

remember mars, remember when you first saw Masjid An Nabawi. remember how you thought it is the biggest masjid you have ever seen. 

remember how you couldn't believe your eyes when you were in the van on the way to the hotel. the glimpse of the Masjid took your breath away, and how you couldn't believe that you're actually in Madinah, looking at the Masjid.

Masjid An Nabawi.

remember how it's made of marbles and stones and how it's beautifully designed inside and out,

how the masjid was brightly illuminated that night when you first walked in.

remember how much you cried that night.

Family picture near Masjid Quba.

remember how mama took care of all of us, making sure we had the right clothes on, that we are well fed, we are well, and how she held us all as a unit.

remember you always lost her bila nak bagi dia air zamzam, padahal she saw you looking for her!

hehe!

remember how in Masjid Al Haram, you lost her after taking the air zamzam for her, and how you turned 360degrees tapi tak nampak nampak jugak mama, then she just went "sssssttt!"

and when you saw her, that look on her face, remember that!

remember that muka "what are you doing? and where are you going?" REMEMBER THAT!

priceless.

and you just cant stop laughing because it was too funny to you. =p

remember mars, remember when you went to Raudhah, 

remember the anticipation before you did.

remember how everyone rushed in to go through the doors to Raudhah when it was opened,

but you and mama just stayed back and waited until it was really our turn,

you waited with mama, and while waiting, remember how you fought hunger and tried to stay patient. 

remember those other women who are older than you, who also had fought their hunger to be in Raudhah,

you are fortunate that you're young and you can handle all of that.. mama had to struggle with her back pain and hunger.. good thing you had snicker bar with you =)

remember how you and mama finally had the turn to pray near Raudhah,

how you felt so close to Rasulullah SAW,

how you were tongue-tied when praying because you were so nervous about being heard.

i do hope i was heard.

remember the story of this place. Jabal Uhud. 

remember how these brave men berjihad with swords and weapons, 

how Saidina Hamzah RA stood by Nabi Muhammad SAW till the end. 

how brave they were.. you tu pengecut. tengok trailer cite hantu pun tutup tutup mata and telinga.

you should be as brave as the soldiers at least. 

be as brave, faithful and strong.

try ok. just try your best. =)

remember how nervous you were being in Ihram for the first time.

remember how you kept reading the panduan coz you were worried you might forget how to do umrah,

and how you kept fighting back tears on the way to Makkah.

remember how you fought back tears when you said "Labbayk Allahumma abbayk. labbayk laa shareeka la ka labbayk innal hamda wanni'mata laka walmulk, laa shareeka lak"

and then, remember when you first saw Kaabah.

you couldn't believe that the Kaabah which you've seen so much on sejadah and tv is really in front of you.

you were so amazed and so grateful that you forgot to close your mouth =p

remember when you tawaf the Kaabah, how you kept looking at it, wondering how you ended up there, in front of it,

and then you observed the people around you and felt how insignificant you are to Him.

"yet, You allowed me to be here. with my family. means, i'm not insignificant to You.."

remember mars, how fortunate you are.

during Saie, remember how tiring it was going from Bukit Safa' to Bukit Marwah.

tapi you muda, so takpe. remember how the older ones did it without complaining.

be like that too when you're older. be as passionate as if you've never aged physically.

My brothers and Abah. 

remember how Abah provided us with food, medicine, and making sure we get to visit Madinah and Makkah. if it weren't for him, we wouldn't have the opportunity to go there. 

thank you Abah =')

remember how Azry protected you during Tawaf and Saie and when we climbed Gua Hira'

remember how he was always looking out for me when i'm left behind.

he is such a lovely brother.

remember how Arief made you laugh with his faces and his jokes.

remember how he always held your hand in Istanbul to keep you warm.

such a thoughtful brother.

remember how Ike was always in the front, leading us all and making sure he knows it better than any of us so that he can guide.

such a good leader.

=)

remember the steep steps to Gua Hira'. 

during mama and abah's time, there were no stair steps, railings and resting areas. they literally had to hike.

remember how you were actually sick at this time but you just went on anyway coz you don't want to miss out on seeing the place where Nabi Muhammad SAW terima wahyu.

it was worth it =)

but then, remember how dirty it was.. how people just leave their trash behind and makes this place as if it's a picnic area..

hope there are some people who clean the place up.

Jabal Thur.

remember how hot and dry it was, but Alhamdulillah, it didn't bother any of us. 

we didn't feel hot even though our body reacted to it, and Alhamdulillah, you were not once kena kacau or grabbed or whatever! =D

remember how amazing it is to see air zamzam to flow non-stop for how many thousand years and it's so fresh and cold, ALL THE TIME!

Subhanallah!

doakan my brothers jumpa jodoh yang ditentukan Allah swt soon =)

remember mars.

remember.

=)