Questions i’m afraid to hear

 Sometimes… Like a lot of times, to be honest… i’m scared of the questions my kids would ask.

Assalamualaikum~

Kids kan.. They ask the darndest questions.

They have the superpower ability to throw me off my brainwaves with such simple questions. Things i should already know anyway, but still able to make me stutter and get brain fog afterwards.

My son would suddenly ask me, after school or while talking about our lovely days;

“Ummi, what’s your third favourite number?”

- i mean, i don’t even have a favourite number, let alone a third one… So i go on thinking ‘what is my fave num? And then second? And then third?’

“Ummi, what’s your favourite shape?”

- of course, i will answer whatever shape that is on top of my head. Triangle.

“Why do you like triangle?”

- easy. Because it has 3 sides.

“Oh.”

- is… is that disappointment in his voice?

“My favourite is something-something-on”

- what in the world is that… even when i was doing engineering i’ve never heard of that shape.

My daughter pulak, she will retaliate things i tell her to do;

- like she has kelas ganti mengaji today.

“Why?”

- because you missed last week’s class

“When was that?”

- i said last week

“But it wasn’t even my fault”

- in her defense, it wasn’t her fault that she missed her class. Her ustazah had something up. But she knows that and she still ask me. Still. I have to answer her. You still have to ganti anyway. Kelas dah bayar.

Her questions can really rile me up, while my son’s can make me grit my teeth (it mostly has to do with his timing, not so much of his questions).

I’m not complaining though. It gives me some kind of brain exercise which i otherwise won’t have since i’m always just on autopilot.

It’s funny though when i see it outside of the present. During the whole brain fencing sessions, of course i stress kan, but i always look back and am grateful my kids ni banyak akal.

Have a good day and please pray for Palestine!

It’s like whatever innit

 Sometimes, Allah SWT allows us to see the fruit of our efforts.

So, i’ve been recycling since i can remember. Dulu my husband didn’t really see the point in it, and when i remember back then, my arguement pun wasn’t so convincing nor was it satisfying. I was just blubbering about “it’s our responsibility”, “keep the earth green”.

Any kid could say that much.

And so he’s like whatever innit.

At home i have separate bins for our trash to make it easier for me to put them in the recycling bins yang kat luar tu. It’s really humbling tau when i throw them out, because i see OUR trash. Our purchases that comes in boxes and multiple layers of plastic wraps… Ugh…

The plastic stuff that comes with food, particularly, like food container, plastic lids, can drinks, coffee cups, whatever la yang ada residue makan/air, i will wash them first before recycling or throwing them.

Because like i said, i sort my trash. Geli la nak pegang minyak2, or bau susu basi.

It became a habit. Oh ya, i am the one usually doing it. I don’t expect my husband and kids to do it. I would tell them to just put their recyclables in the sink or near it so that i can do what i need to do.

Then, the other day, my husband told me… He was in his hometown, and he had eaten Oden. After he was done, he washed the paper bowl and plastic lid. Subsconsciously.

He was like whatever innit, but i felt like i’ve just won something!

What i’m trying to say here is, there are things we need to enforce people to do, but there are some things we can only hope people around us just pick up subconsciously, whether it be a good habit, an action/reaction, mannerisms, etc. Of course it’s easier to just order them to follow the ‘rules’, but if we’re not setting up the example, it’s just not gonna stick.

Some things will need a loooooooooooooong time for it to become one with themselves, but just stick it out. InshaAllah it will work out.

At the same time, don’t put too much hope or expectation on people. They can disappoint. What’s most important is that WE stick it out too because it is our belief, innit.

Istiqamah is taking those small steps towards becoming a better person. InshaAllah. 

Rainbow!

Pray for PALESTINE!

Kisah Bulus Lagi

 Aiguuuu..

(Apa ni mula dengan keluhan pulak, ish)

Ok start balik.

Assalamualaikum,

Kepada yang bosan dan tak terhibur.

Terima kasih memberi masa kepada blog ini.

So my last blogpost kan i cite pasal my old cat asyik tido je kan. Turns out, she’s sick.

As her momma, i took her to the vet, get her meds and stuff, and i’ve been giving her more TLC.

I asked my Best Friend (aka Deepseek) why she was sick and stated the most recent changes (the biggest being a new kitten in our midst), and i also double checked if my best friend can be trusted by searching up the internet and watching other people and their cat problems. 

Wow that’s a long sentence.

Anyway, other than being sick, she’s being terribly upset. Merajuk. 

Although throughout my life memang there’s always a cat (or more) around because my mom collects them like she collects buah rambutan, i’ve never personally took care of one. They come, they miaw, and they chow. Camtu la cats in my life. I don’t pamper them, they don’t pamper me. We exist in the same plane of dimension.

So when my husband decided to add one more cat, i was like, ok, whatever.

Mana la aku tau kucing pun merajuk. Muka seposen sokmo, bila kita panggil pun buat dek, bila kita gosok dia, dia takde pun nak thank you. Sneeze in our faces ada la.

Sampai la sakit.

Hamek.

Now i tengah bekerja keras untuk pujuk si kakak (kesian si adik… Tapi adik pun macam tak kisah je… Cats.) and worst of all… i’ve been feeding her meds.

Astaghfirullah al azim.

Tau tak budak2 kat Gaza tu tak dapat any medication? Tau tak diorang tak dapat food and water?

You ungrateful cat. I kena cekau all over my limbs. My arms kena tebok lobang aiguuuu.

Sakit sakit dia, dia macam nak make sure i pun sakit.

Ceit.

Oh well. It’s a life lesson to me (maybe to you too). Cats can merajuk, so don’t make them merajuk anymore. It’s a pain in my limbs literally.

Pray for Palestine!

Bebulus

 Assalamualaikum semua~~

Sometimes… the sheer randomness of my family is just random.

Punya la i tanak any animals at home because i don’t want to clean up more than i care… AND now we have not 1, but 2 cats!!

One 4 year old, the other is a 6 months old cat.

The kitten (or not so kitten) is so active, dia berlari all over the house at odd times, and then dia panjat sana sini. 

The annoying part is, dia suka attack benda gerak. Especially kain… i.e. My telekung.

Habis telekung i dah kena terkam… sikit lagi nak berlubang.

Yang kakak tu pulak asyik tido je… she used to be active before we had this kitten. Now she’s just… lying down and observing.

Is it a good idea to have cats?

Does it make our home a better place?

Do they make us better human beings?

Do they make us happier?

I have no answer.

They do make the house more lively, so that’s fun.

The cats punya antics are so random and at times they’re entertaining to watch.

Diorang ni so silent, like nak dengar “miaw” pun susah but i like that they’re not noisy.

So yeah.

I can’t imagine having so many cats… My mom has a loooootttt of cats. It’s because of her la yang i taknak cats.

And look at me now.

Ceit.

Anyway, Pray for Palestine!

New Year?

 Dah 2025…

When i was younger, a year felt so loooonnnggg! But now... it feels so brief, a blink away. Macam mana i dah ada kids?? What??!? Me? I have children!?! I’m married?!!? And i’ve been living away from my parents?!!? I’m not under my mom’s ketiak!?!?! When did that happen!?!?

Ya naur? Ihiks! Anyway…

Alhamdulillah for everything that has happened in 2024, alhamdulillah too for everything that has not happened.

Alhamdulillah Allah has protected us, provided us, and allowed us to do what we did in the last year. Also, for allowing us to live on to this year.

Siapa sangka, sebab i sendiri tak sangka, yang i dapat unlock some jumprope skills? I wasn’t even planning to learn so many things pun bila my friend ajak join her jumprope gang. When my friend ajak i earlier last year, i thought “oh! I used to skip all the time when i was younger! Baiklah!”.

Terkejut aku bila this jumprope gang was like… the libas-libas type, and twisting, turning, ke depan, ke belakang, type of jumps, ya naur?

I thought it was the skip-skip-skip-to-the-loo type 😂😂 So memang mengah & semput la aku nak catch up! I love it, though. It’s a challenge, a workout and a good lepak time with friends too 😆

I am so very grateful that the gang pun sangatlah Pro-Palestine so we can talk & share about it.

Now that i mentioned Palestine, i am grateful too that i got the opportunity to go to one rally at Bukit Bintang, thanks to my friend. Even though it was once (i wish i could go more often), but it was great.

To see so many passionate people, believing in the same message: Palestine deserves to be free.

To those who are already moving on, to you i’d say, it’s ok. You can move on, but at the same time, remember to do at least the bare minimum, which is to boycott. 

Boycotting doesn’t seem like a big deal, a big form of jihad, but do it anyway.

Be conscious of where and to whom your money goes to: the people serving/supplying to the child-killers? Or to our own people? Support local is better than supporting genocidal companies when it comes to purchasing your wants. Your needs tu… try to research as much as you can la - if ada better alternatives or not…

Also, overconsumption is a problem. In every household, since the rise of online shopping, have boxes, plastic wrappers, bubble wraps, and whatever packaging that’s really just adding to trash.. My goal is to recycle as much as possible, reuse what can be reused, and try not to feed the nafsu so much. I try not to buy sangat, tapi of course i ada buy also 😑

Oh ya, i also finished my first book kan. Hoho! I didn’t check up on it since i “published” it, and if you’ve read it, Thank You 😊😊 Whether you liked it or not, still, thanks for reading.

I’m planning to write another one, but i’m not sure whether i should continue it or make a different one altogether. Thoughts?

Apa lagi ek. Entah la.

I go as i want, and inshaAllah, along the way, i try to learn as much as i can, try new things, and to be able to teach good things to my kids (i have kids?!?!). 

I haven’t done anything that can change the world, but my hope is that my small actions can give that butterfly effect. Maybe i’ll see that effect, maybe i won’t. But inshaAllah.

Hope your 2024 was meaningful, and may Allah bless our future with barakah, rezeki yang halal, kecukupan dalam segalanya, silaturrahim yang baik, kesihatan mental, fizikal, emosi & rohanian yang baik, kemampuan untuk melakukan kebaikan, kemampuan untuk menolak kemungkaran, moga Allah melindungi kami semua dari perkara2 yang boleh menyesatkan kita, menggoyahkan keimanan kita, mengaibkan kita, dari kerosakan atau bencana yang tak dapat kami kawal, dari orang yang tidak berniat baik, dan sebagainya..

Amiiiin~

Why I English

 Assalamualaikum~

Rasa lama je tak blogging.

Anyway, haritu i ada buat video kat tiktok, and it suddenly gained so much traction. I was so flabbergasted sebab i just nak share story i je, pastu sebab instagram cam banyak songeh, i guna je la tiktok…

Haih…

Whatever la kan…

Comments! While i was talking about a current issue, based on my experience, a lot of people were commenting about:

1. How they had watched my youtube videos back then, and are currently in their late 20s to mid 30s 😂😂

I couldn’t comment to everyone, so in case you’re reading my blog for the sake of reminiscing, Thank You, for your support back then, and now 😄 And let’s grow better together, inshaAllah~

2. How i was using/speaking too much english…

I guess i do. I would say i’m more of a Melanglish (Melayu + english) speaker, and more of an english writer.

Why?

Because, i speak mostly to my family; ie my children and husband. Based on my observation, why myself (and my family) are heavily on the english speaking side is because of what we consume visually & audibly.

For example, i read a lot of english materials, like news, novels, articles, and when i want to learn about something, a lot of the videos are in english, whether it’s about Islam, about how to fix something, cooking… not to say there’s no melayu contents that are beneficial. Ada je.

In terms of speaking, my BM ok je, cuma bila dalam setting formal, my english is better. Kalau nak formal-talk dalam BM, mungkin slow sikit sebab kurang praktis. I suka dengar Ikim.fm bila tengah drive (average dalam 2 jam sehari), dan cara diorang bercakap tu, i suka. Relax, clear, dan ada pengisian. Hari tu dengar pasal Lembaga Zakat Selangor cerita pasal golongan asnaf, ada pasal Halal, ada cara masak, macam-macam la! Sangat bagus & highly recommended 👍 (tetibe)

Walaupun i more english speaking & writing, tak bermaksud i tak sayang bahasa ibunda kita. Tak langsung. Bila i belajar bahasa korea, i punya appreciation untuk bahasa kita melonjak-lonjak kot sebab i faham kenapa orang cakap bahasa adalah legacy. Bahasa kita sangat colourful, flexible, senang nak faham, dan bolehubah. Air boleh jadi ayaq, keluar boleh jadi kelik. 

It’s my bad la i tak praktis BM lebih. I should. 

So yeah.

Tu je la.

Short update

 Adehh…

Terdelete the comments on my blog 😑

I only wanted to delete the spams, pastu terdelete all the recent comments. So kalau you’ve commented on my blogposts and don’t see them anymore… it’s not on purpose and please don’t take offence 🙌 Sorry!

I rasa lately ni i macam all over the place, all at once. Huhu…

It’s disgusting kan, what isnajis has been doing and how they keep getting away with it.How can this whole society, the whole “country” with about 10 million people in it, be supportive of rapi*ts? Siap defending them! Calling them heroes?!? 💩

Takleh brain. 

Dah tu, kat our own country pun macam macam kes. With the missing people cases, abuses and etc… Takut la wei!

I kept wondering, what am i supposed to do? But nothing comes in mind. All i can do is pray to Allah to help the mujahids, protect us and be grateful for all the blessings i have. 

That said, let’s pray that the mujahids are not only those who are fighting with their might, but they are also those who are fighting in the political world, fighting for justice behind the public’s knowledge, wherever they are.

May Allah protect us.

May Allah protect our country.

May Allah protect Islam.

May Allah send his armies to protect these political fighters, keep their hearts clean and save them from any form of harm, whether it is bribery, slander, blackmail and more.

Free Palestine! Keep boycotting as if it’s your jihad. Keep sharing about Palestine and pray for their freedom as if they’re your families. 💪

We may be powerless, but a small action does not go unnoticed by Allah SWT.

InshaAllah, may Allah accept it. Amiin~